Breaking into Keith Wood's car

You are a 27 year old, 5ft9, 10 and a half stone winger who does the 100m in 14.8 seconds. After years of being the scrappy winger for the local side you get a call from Glasgow telling you that they are having a backs crisis and they need you to step up and play their upcoming match against Aironi. You play the full 80 as there is no one to come on to replace you, by the end you are hanging out of your ****, despite the fact you only got the ball four times. You made 2 tackles and scored a lucky try. Glasgow thank you for your help but inform you that as 3 of their wingers are fit again your services are no longer required. Back at your local club you are a hero, and you tell many tales of how you are the best thing since Shane Williams. Next thing you know, a few months later, it is the Scottish national side who are having a huge injury crisis, and in one of the strangest decisions in international sport, they decide to call you up and start you on the wing for the next game. A game which happens to be against Wales. A grand slam decider, both teams have a 100% record and Scotland have got the worlds attention for the right reasons for a change. The two wingers named on the team sheet for the Welsh are George North and Alex Cuthbert. 13 minutes in you are stretchered off to boo's from the Scottish fans and jeers from the Welsh contingent in the crowd. You go down in history, but not in quite the way you hoped. After somehow scaling 80 meters and making it into the opposition 22 you see North and Cuthbert haring it towards you, and instead of taking your chances, you turned around on the spot and got sent flying by none other than young Dave Denton sprinting to help you out. Needless to say Wales win the Grand Slam, and you jump straight to the number 1 spot on everybody's '100 worst ever international players' list. Back at the club on Tuesday for training you find out you have lost your wing berth to a kid from England.
Could it get much worse?

Might have got a bit carried away, can't even be bothered to re-read it to check if it makes sense, its too late for that!

"The more random, the better!"

Tomas O'Leary get's selected for Ireland again...

Fact really is stranger than fiction!