wunter under meijer

Respected german publication wunter under meijer returns for a short term blast from the past. Today some breaking transfer stories

Wunter can exclusively claim that despite Alan Pardew’s desperate grasping at any excuse Arsenal have not submitted any bid for John Kebab rather they are seeming are set to snap up young defensive star Anuder Kid, 15, from African side Yung tooyung.
"The opportunity of a lifetime" gushed Kid's parents, Yung and Abusa, when asked their thoughts on the move from Africa to London, "We don't need to worry about him. There are many playgrounds and opportunities for him there play outside when he's with all those other kids, and if Mr Wenger is there to really look after him."
The teenage whiz is highly rated by Wenger, who fears an ageing squad - and feels that the club must do everything it can to reduce the teams average age, currently 19, if it is to sustain a title challenge.

Chelsea meanwhile have cooled their interest in a rapidly balding Manchester reserve and switched instead to Uruguayan star Preemad Onna. Having seen numerous failed bids for sums in or around 40million plus change his club have descried that they should charge the small London outfit 20million but Roman Abramovich has insisted on paying only £65millnio.
When asked his thoughts on why the pretentious star declined to comment, instead focusing on his latest teeth whitening kit while waving to some fans burning red shirts in his honor.

Wunter Under Meijer, bringing you the most inaccurate transfer news you'll find anywhere