Otep News

Hello everyone. I am back. Thank you ever so much for all your sincere thoughts and concerns as to my health and well being. I am really touched.

I also read of some praise for my running of the Predictor League. It seems to be being run excellently in my absence by Steve. Well done and thank you Steve.

My story does not make for good reading but I shall tell it anyway. A few days after we won at Morecambe my partner told me that she did not love me anymore. I soldiered on until July and then one day I had a total breakdown. A meltdown of epic proportions. I was hit by severe depression, stress and anxiety. The pain, trauma, anguish, misery and suffering was indescribable. Hell does exist my friends. I have seen it.

I moved house right at the start of the season and now live in Moira. This was a big mistake. It made me feel worse. Much worse. I am still there now and I have no internet connection as I am attempting to move again. I am in my old house at present writing this. I am visiting some good friends of mine - my cats.

The good news is that I am slowly on road to recovery. There were times when I virtually lost the will to live but I fought my way through it. I think I have turned the corner now.

Despite losing interest in all of my hobbies I forced myself to go to watch the Brewers - home and away. I really mean forced. There were some games at the start of the season where I did not care if we won, drew or lost. Some games I scarcely watched or even registered what was happening.

I was at Bury on Saturday and at Wigan last night and with each of those games I was able to conclude that I am enjoying my football again. Even the fact that it took me 3 hours to get to Wigan last night did not dampen my spirits!

I was listening to a chap on Radio 5 a few weeks ago who lost his wife to cancer many years ago. He has 2 sons. He is a West Ham fan. He said that football really helped the healing process for him and his 2 lads. This really resonated with me. Whether it be a bereavement or ill health, football can really help. I look to the imminent fixture at Gillingham and the long drive there not with any dread - but as another day of therapy for me.

My belief in football as a source of therapy took me to the Q&A evening with Jimmy, David Oldfield, Moose and Ben a month ago. I even went to the Q&A evening with Macca and Gilly in Hilton on Friday night. Maybe some of you were at these events with me.

I have rejoined you all tonight because I received an email from the administration team. Being back in my old house tonight I am able to find out what my password is for this site and provide this update. With any luck I will now be able to get on this site via my Smartphone and make some more contributions later.

Thank you once again chaps. You really are a great bunch and though I do not know you, I consider you to be my friends.