AT PIE MANSIONS (4???)...

GAME 32? FEBRUARY16th, 2016
TURF MOOR
FOREST 2 SHY MOOR FOLK 1

VETCH?!!...VETCH?!!.....

- You called Sir?

Where the hell have you been Vetch? - I have been bellowing for you for what seems like hours!

- Fifteen minutes to be precise, Sir. I have been with Cook, Sir, whilst she was clearing away the last of the Brandied Ovaltine mugs. Unfortunately, I mistook your summons as being a reoccurrence of your recent night terrors.

Oh, I see. Yes – I must admit I haven’t been sleeping at all well of late – not since the young Foresters inept performance against those Uddersfeeling upstarts.

- Indeed, sir. Rarely have I seen a game that has resulted in such a chronic state of melancholic despair. We had thought that we had lost you all together at one point, Sir.

But that's all changed now, eh, Vetch? After that result against the Shy Moor Folk. Taught them a thing or two about the beautiful game, eh?

- Sir?

Captain Cohen, eh?– and you said he wouldn’t play again, eh? What a performance he put in between the sticks, following Doris’s unfortunate sending off. And Young Burke! – celebrating his new contract by coming on at half time and netting a brace! Good player! - that young Burke. That’s one in the eye for the doubters, eh, Vetch? That’ll show ‘em what we’re actually made of!

- That would be impossible, sir

Impossible, what do you mean, impossible?

- Well, sir, it’s the break for the FA Cup. The Reds are not due to play Burnley until the 23rd of this month Sir.

But the Match Thread, I saw the Reverend’s Match Thread!!

- I am afraid that was more of a case of our irreverent friend shooting his load early, sir.

Really?????

- On this matter, I am positive Sir

Good gracious! I could have sworn….You mean it’s all been a dream, and the mighty Foresters didn’t bounce-back with a resolute and commanding performance against those Hill Folk, and young Burke didn’t bag a brace, and Mr Freedman is not yet out of the dog-house?

- It would appear so, sir. And, if that is all, I will bid you a good night, Sir.

Oh, BUGG£R! Yes – good night, Vetch. But, before you go, how is the redolent Missis Vetch?

- She has been better, Sir – an unfortunate reoccurrence of a bedroom induced fractured pelvis has left her again incapacitated in the matrimonial department. Good night Sir.

Yes – good night, Vetch. Oh, and tell Cook to fetch me one final Brandied Ovaltine - there's a good fellow.

- Certainly Sir.