It's Friday afternoon, I'm struggling to concentrate on work and I need a distraction. Anyway, was thinking about this the other day when I was watching my local Conference South team play, and our young 19 year old left-back brought about the following response from me. "He doesn't look like a footballer, does he?"
Which is a pretty stupid thing to say, really, because anyone can be a footballer, but he didn't look like a natural athlete, he didn't look like he belonged on the football pitch. He didn't have the build or physique or look that you might associate with a modern player.
Certain players, even some of the best to have ever played the game, suffer that same fate. They look like they should be bank managers or in insurance or working as a headteacher.
A few names spring to mind. Feel free to add you own.
Gary 'the Ginger Pele' Doherty - nothing about him screamed footballer or athlete (and, some might argue, so it proved!) He really wasn't that bad, though. He was a decent emergency forward and he did a job in defence at a time when we weren't blessed in that position. We were never secure at the back in the early Noughties, but Doherty wasn't the worst offender in that respect. Went on to have a decent career with Norwich, Charlton and Wycombe. Also made a decent number of appearances for the ROI.
Chris Marsden - anyone remember him? Made over 100 appearances for Soton in the late 90s/early 2000s and was a key part of their midfield. He had one of the weirdest running styles I've ever seen and looked about 50, but he was actually quite an effective player. And even captained Soton in their 2003 FA Cup final loss to Arsenal.
Andres Iniesta - one of the best players of all time, but on first glance your first thought might be lowly admin clerk or accountant rather than one of the most decorated footballers of all time. Another who has always looked about 30 years older than he actually is.
Philippe Senderos - I'm still not sure Senderos himself can believe he's a top-level footballer and has now been for the last 14 years. He's played for Arsenal, AC Milan, Valencia, Fulham and Villa (although not very often, it has to be said; he's always been very much a backup at most clubs he's been at); now he's with Rangers. This is despite looking like he's going to fall over his own feet at any point. Clumsy in the dictionary should have Mr Senderos' name next to it. Probably being a tad harsh
Phil Jones - the gurning, perennially injured Manchester United defender doesn't come across as a natural footballer. The game looks hard for him, while it looks easy for others. Even in his years at Blackburn and his early games at United, where he looked a fantastic prospect, there was still that same thing coming to mind "he doesn't look like a footballer, does he?"
Is this just me or do others think along the same lines? And any more for any more?
Players who don't look like footballers
posted on 9/9/16
Mahrez. Look like your normal Deliveroo guy.
posted on 9/9/16
Someone said Vardy looks like a smackhead. That's about right.
posted on 9/9/16
He looks like Steptoe.
http://cdn.images.dailystar.co.uk/dynamic/1/photos/637000/vardy-433637.jpg
posted on 9/9/16
Per Mertesacker
posted on 9/9/16
He does as well
posted on 9/9/16
Vardy - looks like scrat from ice age
Lamela - runs like a Chicken Chicken
Hendersen - forest gump
Costa - insert animal name here
Tevez- Dizzy Devil
David Luiz - Side show Bob
posted on 9/9/16
comment by Spurtle2 (U1608)
posted 1 hour, 59 minutes ago
Lukaku - Heavyweight boxer
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he'd probably be better than Fraudley Harrison
posted on 9/9/16
Santi Cazorla
He looks like the moon
http://blog.wfmu.org/.a/6a00d83451c29169e201157051c104970b-pi
posted on 9/9/16
Carles Puyol
Great player and great attitude but looks like some tree-hugging hipster
posted on 9/9/16
Peter Beardsley, he looked like an advert for a back street plastic surgeon.