Marital Arts

I have been married for some time now and here is a few tips for those just recently married, or planning to get married:

1. Always buy a big comfortable sofa (or a good sofa bed) after 2 years of living together. That way, you will not mind when you have to sleep downstairs.

2. What she says means nothing about what she wants, whats she feels like or anything in that matter. Over time you have to work this out as it differs from partner to partner. for example, when my wife asks me what we are doing on a weekend...what she means is, "unless its critical, you can cancel whatever cr 4p you have planned as we are doing this"

3. When she asks if a particular dress looks good, don't just say "yes"..have a look, say "yes"..then make up something. i.e. "Yes it does, it really brings out your **** "..you get a few brownie points if your compliment is good

4. Your honeymoon is about her having a good time and doing what she wants.

5. Your marriage...replace honeymoon for marriage and go to point 4.

6. They say marriage is hard work..it is, for you.

7. When she says "we need to talk"..she needs to, you don't.

8. When you are going out, never ask if you look good, like she does. You don't need to and she'll just think you're out to impress other girls.

9. When she gets angry, don't ask any questions, don't ask whats wrong. Go to the pub

There are some red hot tips there folks..wish you both a very happy life together.