Who's the sexiest Premier League Manager of them all?
It's what you've all been waiting for. The definitive rating of the hottest Premier League Managers.
1st - Mo Pochettino - Mo, What's not to love? One you could take home to the parents or out to friends. Will almost always have a nice shirt and jumper combo on that accentuates the sparkle in his eye. All that Argentinian flair is kept for the bedroom.
2nd - Walter Mazzari - The true Italian stallion. Definitely a caring lover and with the ability to give it the shexy secretary look by just popping on those specs. Not that he would, he's clearly the dominant one
3rd - Slaven Bilic - Hard, Balkan, Rock God. Just imagine the date he would take you on. To a dive bar then for a good hard pumping round the back while he fought off a gang of thugs with the other arm. Proper hard.
4th - Jurgen Klopp - Similar to Bilic apart from he's German which is not as good as Croatian and he's definitely not as hard. Settle it who is harder Bilic or Klopp?
5th - Pep Guardiola - Only a lack of hair kept him from the Champions League sexiness spots. Although he does manage to keep his skull beautifully shiny. Smart fashion sense propels him into 5th place.
6th - Eddie Howe - He's got no eyebrows so falls down the list even with the advantage of being the youngest looking.
7th - Alan Pardew. You fancy him but there's no way your telling you mates, he's a massive cringe. Though he does have a very friendly face that you would love to sit on.
8th - Aitor Karanka. Reasonably cool with fun hair. Likes to go in a huff and then come back with his tail between his legs which causes him to drop out of the CL shexy spots. He would also make a great Spanish omelette after the horizontal tango is over.
9th - Antonio Conte - A hot man but too demanding. Is he even hard or is it an act? Once he convinces me he's real hard he's got CL potential. How hard is Conte out of 10?
10th - Mike Phelan - He's only this high because how I though how hot would it be if he was the 3rd Mitchell brother. 3 incredibly shexy boiled eggs.
11th - Claudio Ranieri - I'm a big fan of pizza and winning the league. Winning the league is real shexy even if Claudio isnt.
12th - Jose Mourinho. His ego has deflated along with his shex appeal and the greys have consumed his once luscious hair. He's the one that used to be hot back in the day but's had a tough marriage and never been able to pull it back together since. You'd still ride it tough as it's got a fantastic reputation.
13th - Sean Dyche - With that voice he been called the wireless vibrator. Shame he's ginger but you know he's a great cuddler.
14th - Mark Hughes. He enjoys a wink, imagine Sparky across the bar winking at you. Nah me neither.
15th - Ronald Koeman. Not enough is said about that truly awful hairdo. He has almost too much face as well but at least after a date he would take you for a lovely shmoke and a pancake.
16th - Claude Puel. His redeeming feature is his choice in suits but otherwise a very grey man in every sense.
17th - Arsene Wenger. Silver fox but hideously let down by the infamous Michelin man coat. Though the shexy voice keeps him away from the relegation zone. Too frail to be shexy overall but i reckon he would go through some major mid season surgery to get 4th. An Arsene Wenger/Jackie Stallone hybrid.
18th - Tony Pulis. He can't avoid this relegation, no man that wears a cap with the fervour of a Tony Pulis can be shexy. I'm sorry they just can not.
19th - Francesco Guidolin. He looks like a character from Game of Thrones that's been at the wall for too long. Add that to managing Swansea who are only less sexy than WBA he deserves his place in the bottom 3.
20th - David Moyes. I'm Scottish and he's Scottish but it has to be said that he is a cretin. He looks like some form of undiscovered pond life. I for one feel sorry for the people of Sunderland. Though on second thoughts he's probably in the running for Mr Sunderland 2016.
Agree or Disagree?
Mirror Mirror on the wall
posted on 20/9/16
The more crucial and worthy debate for me would be what do their WAGs look like and where would they rank?
posted on 20/9/16
Alan Pardew, well what can I legally say?
Let's just say that many of the WAGS of the clubs he has managed have found his charms irresistible.
Allegedly.
posted on 20/9/16
Comment Deleted by Site Moderator
posted on 20/9/16
Sane
posted on 20/9/16
Comment Deleted by Site Moderator
posted on 20/9/16
3rd - Slaven Bilic - Hard, Balkan, Rock God. Just imagine the date he would take you on. To a dive bar then for a good hard pumping round the back while he fought off a gang of thugs with the other arm. Proper hard.
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Angry dirty back alley (ooh matron) sexy time with Slav. You know he's packing....
posted on 21/9/16
Ace
posted on 21/9/16
comment by The Ace Face (U18814)
posted 13 hours, 14 minutes ago
Klopp is a facking lanky scruffy four eyed graceless oaf with teeth like Dwayne Dibbly.
Wenger has a face like a constipated rodent.
Conte uses more hair dye than Mick Jagger & Paul McCartney combined.
Mourhino is a short arris that resembles that meerkat from the insurance ads.
Koeman has the appearance of a simpleton with Downs Syndrome.
Pep has so little hair he makes Daniel Levy look like Chewbacca.
Pardew is a known rapist who molests his own players wives.
And as for Moyes, I've seen gargoyles covered in pigeon shiiit that have better looks, the only ones who give him a run for his money in the unspeakably ugly stakes are that fat squashed up face armchair headed monster Bruce, and that freakishly deformed beast of burden Dowie.
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I agree that armchair head is hideous beyond words, but David "Gollum" Moyes, and Sam "Walrus Chops" alladyce are stern competition
wenger, funnily enough, genuinely looks like a child molestar
posted on 21/9/16
OP
posted on 21/9/16
Facking hell ACE