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Favourite Old Firm Joke

Anyone remember the Billy Connolly joke about pishing in their bovril, and them sh***ing in our shoes?

posted on 28/4/17

comment by Magnum (U16400)
posted 44 seconds ago
comment by thebluebellsareblue (U9292)
posted 9 seconds ago
How do you know ET is a tim?

Ho look like wan!
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Did you put in the punchline to a chinese joke by mistake?
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😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁ah ffs!

posted on 28/4/17

Comment Deleted by Site Moderator

posted on 28/4/17

comment by thebluebellsareblue (U9292)
posted 0 seconds ago
comment by Magnum (U16400)
posted 44 seconds ago
comment by thebluebellsareblue (U9292)
posted 9 seconds ago
How do you know ET is a tim?

Ho look like wan!
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Did you put in the punchline to a chinese joke by mistake?
----------------------------------------------------------------------
😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁ah ffs!
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Pyoor scunnered.....ma cheeks are aww red!

PointyπŸ˜€

posted on 28/4/17

A Celtic fan enters a pub, after a few drinks he turns to the guy next to him and says, "Do you want to hear a Rangers joke?"
The guy turns to him and says "Listen mate before you tell the joke I should warn you, I’m 6ft 10 and a Rangers fan, that guy to your left is 6ft and a member of a flute band, and the guy there is 6ft 5 and a member of the orange order, Now do you still want to tell your joke?"
The Celtic fan replies, "No, not if I have to tell it 3 times

posted on 28/4/17

comment by Bluebell (U7064)
posted 10 seconds ago
A Celtic fan enters a pub, after a few drinks he turns to the guy next to him and says, "Do you want to hear a Rangers joke?"
The guy turns to him and says "Listen mate before you tell the joke I should warn you, I’m 6ft 10 and a Rangers fan, that guy to your left is 6ft and a member of a flute band, and the guy there is 6ft 5 and a member of the orange order, Now do you still want to tell your joke?"
The Celtic fan replies, "No, not if I have to tell it 3 times


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Cracker!

posted on 28/4/17

I actually told this joke to a Linfield friend and his new girl, not knowing the girl was fae west Belfast, Twinbrook estate, Bobby Sands land.

What do you call one thousand Celtic fans at the bottom of the sea?

A good start!

Tumbleweed, or timbleweed😁

posted on 28/4/17

comment by Curly πŸ’© - I'm mumpsimus and I know it.' (except on a Wednesday, that is my obstreperous day ) - ITS JIST A BIG CLIQUE N'AT (U1103)
posted 3 hours, 3 minutes ago
comment by thebluebellsareblue (U9292)
posted 39 seconds ago
What is the difference between a Tim and a trampoline?

You take yer shoes aff jumping up and down on a trampoline!

PeaceπŸ˜‡
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Nah, nah, nah, nah nah πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

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posted on 28/4/17

comment by Bluebell (U7064)
posted 3 hours, 3 minutes ago
A Celtic fan enters a pub, after a few drinks he turns to the guy next to him and says, "Do you want to hear a Rangers joke?"
The guy turns to him and says "Listen mate before you tell the joke I should warn you, I’m 6ft 10 and a Rangers fan, that guy to your left is 6ft and a member of a flute band, and the guy there is 6ft 5 and a member of the orange order, Now do you still want to tell your joke?"
The Celtic fan replies, "No, not if I have to tell it 3 times


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Stealing that.

comment by Miller (U9310)

posted on 29/4/17

A Tim mate once told me this n my opinion and I think it probably exists in reverse too

A smart guy walks into a bar and is met by a robot barman who asks what he'll be having and his iq. He says beer and 145. The bot pours and discusses science, classical literature and thoughts on existentialism.

He decides to test it and leaves before returning to sit down, asked for his drink and iq he says beer again is it's his tipple and 115. The bot talks of brexit, music, films and general interesting topics. He leaves impressed but still unconvinced

He comes back again later and is met with the expected questions of what's your drink and iq, this time goes for beer ever consistently and 55. The bot leans in and says, you see the Ranjurs game man? Weerrurrappeeoppple

posted on 29/4/17

comment by The one you call Miller is gone, POV owns him now (U9310)
posted 15 minutes ago
A Tim mate once told me this n my opinion and I think it probably exists in reverse too

A smart guy walks into a bar and is met by a robot barman who asks what he'll be having and his iq. He says beer and 145. The bot pours and discusses science, classical literature and thoughts on existentialism.

He decides to test it and leaves before returning to sit down, asked for his drink and iq he says beer again is it's his tipple and 115. The bot talks of brexit, music, films and general interesting topics. He leaves impressed but still unconvinced

He comes back again later and is met with the expected questions of what's your drink and iq, this time goes for beer ever consistently and 55. The bot leans in and says, you see the Ranjurs game man? Weerrurrappeeoppple
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Put a Hail Hail on the end and it definitely works the other way

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