Departure Lounge

Hi
I have it on very good authority, though naturally I cannot reveal my source (or sauce either for that matter)
Samir Nasri is certain to leave for Man Utd for around £10m
Gael Clichy is going to Liverpool, initally on a free, but the scousers insited on paying £10m for him
Arsene Wenger is going to ManU as Slur Alex's assistant, and chewing gum dispenser and is expected to take Theo Walcott Robin van Persie and Jack Wilshire with him within the next few weeks for negligible fees. Cesc Fabregas plans to retire from football as Barca cannot afford him, and open a Donut shop.
Pat Rice will assume caretaker responsibilites and has signed the remainder of the team up for Arsenal Ladies for 2011-2012 season.
Remember you heard it here first