Morning folks
Been asked to be best man at my mates wedding so looking for your best stories and patter.
Obviously the most important thing is the stag do (probably Croatia) however I need to go to the wedding and say some stuff.
I was best man previously at viscos wedding who used to post on here.
Opened with, "hi I'm the best man, I've not done this before so had to research how long I should be up here. Apparently the speech should last as long as the groom does in bed, so cheers!" and sat down.
My sister was raging at her wedding when the lad said he was asked "what's the tartan? " and he replied, "a white dress".
*best one liners may be stolen
Stagg and speech stories
posted on 6/3/19
The videos of other groups who stick big di!do's etc. into their stag's bag when he's not looking then it's pulled out at the security desks are great.
Total embarrassment.
posted on 6/3/19
comment by NNH (U10730)
posted 1 minute ago
The videos of other groups who stick big di!do's etc. into their stag's bag when he's not looking then it's pulled out at the security desks are great.
Total embarrassment.
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On the way to one of our trips to the port of fallen asleep and one of my so called mates stuck a picture of a penguin over my photo in my passport. It was a perfect fit ffs. Handed it over and the guy in the cubicle is just looking at me for ages while those rses are giggling like fwck behind me.
Just shook his head and waved me through.
posted on 6/3/19
comment by Gingernuts (U2992)
posted 1 minute ago
comment by NNH (U10730)
posted 1 minute ago
The videos of other groups who stick big di!do's etc. into their stag's bag when he's not looking then it's pulled out at the security desks are great.
Total embarrassment.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
On the way to one of our trips to the port of fallen asleep and one of my so called mates stuck a picture of a penguin over my photo in my passport. It was a perfect fit ffs. Handed it over and the guy in the cubicle is just looking at me for ages while those rses are giggling like fwck behind me.
Just shook his head and waved me through.
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HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
posted on 6/3/19
Comment Deleted by Site Moderator
posted on 6/3/19
I had to wear a full wedding dress and veil, i fell a hunner times in it, made it all the way to the hotel in benidorm from glasgow. All sorts buying me shots and i was doing back flips into the pool apparently. Cant remember too much got flung out the dancing and an irish bar.
I slept in a close the first night woke up headed to the first pub which was a local place had wings and beers with them before got a taxi back up that giant hill. Cants gave me what i thought was a joint i think there was PCP in it - felt like him out of Training day
posted on 6/3/19
All of these tales really just back up my earlier statement: ‘the boys’ are vvanks.
posted on 6/3/19
Oh, and on my staggie, I turned up at the airport dead of alcohol poisoning but still managed to drink the plane and then had secks with all the passengers before we fell into the sea. Which I drank.
And then I pumped a bajillionty two-by-fours with a cawwk made of pure coke.
posted on 6/3/19
comment by PointyBirds (U21890)
posted 8 minutes ago
All of these tales really just back up my earlier statement: ‘the boys’ are vvanks.
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Yes. But we're bloody good at it.
posted on 6/3/19
comment by PointyBirds (U21890)
posted 1 hour, 27 minutes ago
Oh, and on my staggie, I turned up at the airport dead of alcohol poisoning but still managed to drink the plane and then had secks with all the passengers before we fell into the sea. Which I drank.
And then I pumped a bajillionty two-by-fours with a cawwk made of pure coke.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
You're at it...
posted on 6/3/19
My brother did mine was pash
the lads ran a,sweep to guess how long he would drone on for so winner around 20 mins