Dwellers of Kopgard

Holla, dwellers of Kopgard. You all seem a bit bored this close season but herest am I.

Haply some of thee has't hath heard of me. Mineth names beest yours truly Thorgen Kloppinson, god of comebacks, never dieing, gegenthunder and heavy metal, wielder of Mjolnir and Strom breaker. I own many oth'r handles, nicknames, appellations and cognomens.

Anywho, it appears the three head'd frost giant which cometh from dopetunheim is prophesi'd to rear its heads once again anon. Forsooth shalt we once again cometh visage to visage with city of dopechest'r football club in the community buckler.

Yet another opp'rtunity for me to maketh wasteth of the dopechest'r realm and preserve the purity of football in midgard.

Those gents done wonneth the lottery, all yond oil and petroleum wage and still needeth to cheateth ffp and at every oth'r opp'rtunity to stayeth ahead of everyone else.

The dark side hast done taken over the PRealm in recent times whilst I wast hence at Nidavellir, for John Eitri to forge and prepareth mine own weapon of the god-killing kind.

I has't done taken the full force of a star and now beholdeth, for h're I cometh with mine own blonde mop, irresistible charm and charisma, astounding teeth, attire of war and mine meritous cape flowing behind me, to driveth mine own god-killing weapon into the heart of hath said beast and th'reby saving the day and deliv'ring from this dark age. A three head'd frost giant cannot dareth to withstandeth the power anon.

Never feareth for I, THORgen is now here. Mine own arrival at Wakanda shall beest nothing when done compared to what's going to befall in the coming times.

I has't first to decimate the horde of mischief, the cLOKIneys on the first of June first though, then forsooth shalt the window of transf'rs cometh for mine might to be refreshed.

All Fathers, give me strength.

I'll seeth thee all then. For anon I'm outta this joint!



Heimdall, PORTAL!!