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Work Gossip!

Afternoon all,

I personally cannot wait for the transfer window to shut

The constant unsubstantiated transfer rumours, the constant morespurs conveyor belt of articles over and over again is pushing me to dust off Dons bus and kickstart that mother up

To mix things up, I am wondering what major bits of gossip or events have happened at your place of work that's been the 'talk of the office'

What's happened to make you think... "wow .... you don't see that every day"!

I'll start

My company was put into administration because a former employee took 6 months off sick because he was being treated for cancer located in his stomach

what ACTUALLY happened, was this guy had pulled a 6month sicky with his cancer excuse backing him. In the meantime, he had stolen the company database of clients, started a new job elsewhere and was using the 6months off to get himself set up and poach all the clients!

after researching him further, it turned out this was not the first time he'd done this. He has previously been done for nicking money from previous employers to fund his gambling addiction

and another one where an even further back employer accused him of defrauding them for £60k

over to you, friends

posted on 5/7/19

One of the high ups in our building was caught getting sucked off in his office by the fittest bird (out of approx 2000 people in this massive office block, she was stupidly hot).

Anyway he got moved sideways rather than any serious punishment, this was in the civil service

posted on 5/7/19

Mesut Ozil plays for Arsenal and gets £350k a week
for doing nothing

posted on 5/7/19

comment by Winston (U16525)
posted 14 hours, 4 minutes ago
comment by FieldsofAnfieldRd (U18971)
posted 1 minute ago
comment by BruceAndPally (U8201)
posted 4 minutes ago
comment by FieldsofAnfieldRd (U18971)
posted 15 minutes ago
I had to fire a lad off nights for watching p0rnatwork as well. Most people have phones so don’t get why you’d use the office computers. Even so has no one heard of private browsing?
Incognito on Chrome isn’t even private, you’re employer, school, service provider can still see the sites you’ve visited.

Useless for the borderline sex-offenders who want to watch hardcore p*rn at work...
Really don’t get why people watch it at work anyway. It’s not as if you’re going to have a tug right there in the office anyway.

I reckon it goes on a lot in the bogs though!
Hope the bogs dont have cameras

posted on 5/7/19

I knew a guy back in Watford where we worked 12 hour shifts who used to do overtime and be sick in the same week.
On a week 1 you worked mon tue fri sat sun
Week 2 weds thurs.
So this guy on a week1 would be ill mon tue
Work overtime weds thurs and be ill again fri sat sun.
The pattern was reversed on a week2.

He got found out and his overtime was stopped
He claimed he was being discriminated against.
He threatened his supervisor
Then he threatened HR
He said God will punish you

He wasnt around for much longer

posted on 5/7/19

comment by Sem (U9729)
posted 20 hours, 51 minutes ago
away from the OTT stories,

there's a guy in our office who we have all diagnosed with ADHD

- he cannot sit still

- he has to get involved in every conversation. If I ask someone else a question, he will answer it for them

- he clears his throat CONSTANTLY, he's constantly snorting like a pig

- he'll open up an email and have to minimise it and maximise it and scroll up and down a gazillion times before he actually does anything with it

- he's loud and in your personal space constantly

- he will tell a joke, get a little response in the form of nose exhaling from a few people, then he will stand up from his desk, walk over to your desk and tell you the same joke in the same way again until he is stood in front of you repeating it again for a 3rd time

- he does an over the top deep and loud exhale laugh over the smallest things

- he will give you a running commentary of the call he just had, the email he just had, the order he just got, the quote he just sent and you can literally show no form of interest by looking away, not altering your face, not looking like you're listening and it will not deter him

- he constantly swivels his monitor round to show you something

- always stands next to you over your shoulder showing you something on his phone

there's is not one redeeming quality he has. I have never met and never will again meet someone as irritating as this bell.

without a word of a lie, last night I dreamt that I dived across his desk to strangle him cos he annoys me that much

and to top it off, he has a girlfriend who is very jealous of him talking of or about other girls

as in, she is proper insecure and is really protective and won't let him out without her etc.

I think everyone has a colleague like this.

posted on 5/7/19

comment by Edward Elizabeth Hitler. (U14393)
posted 20 hours, 39 minutes ago
I remember when I used to work in retail years ago and was in charge of Xmas temp hiring. I hired 4 birds 2 blokes, I managed to fack 3 of them

Both blokes and one of the birds?

posted on 5/7/19

Had a guy move to our place with his girlfriend when I worked in Sheffield. He was an ex para, had a scar on his shoulder from one tour, military tattoos, used to come to work with bits of kit, rucksack etc. Got married while I worked there, bought a house etc.

Less than a year later they were divorced. Turns out she got suspicious of something he said, did some digging, and he’d created the whole military personality. No ones seen him since.


posted on 5/7/19

As a chef I simply refer everyone to the film Waiting (Ryan Reynolds & Anna Feris)

It's not a film. It's a documentary

P.S. never done it but I have been given both 'the brain' and 'the bat wing' down the years. No-one's managed 'the goat' yet.

posted on 8/7/19

I had altercation with boss' son , he did his best to fire me but failed, since I was senior and other partners were happy with me. Later at time of resignation, they did not gave my last month salary but I fought and got my hard earned money.

posted on 8/7/19

I worked at a golf club where a big scandal happened with an office girl there and the director

her husband tried to run him over on the c golf course and it was a double page spread in the daily mail with the headline

The golf club where seeeex is par for the course

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