comment by #4zA (U22472)
posted 1 week, 2 days ago
Im not gettin n tease wons
----------------------------------------------------------------------
hears won 4 u 4za

Nether chalunge deaf 2 a pill oh fite, unless u r prepaired 4 the reaper cushions

4za shud punderstand thut won

Have you guys heard about the Dolly Parton diet? It made my buddy Joe lean.

comment by InBefore (U20589)
posted 1 day, 4 hours ago
comment by #4zA (U22472)
posted 1 week, 2 days ago
Im not gettin n tease wons
----------------------------------------------------------------------
hears won 4 u 4za

Nether chalunge deaf 2 a pill oh fite, unless u r prepaired 4 the reaper cushions
----------------------------------------------------------------------

comment by InBefore (U20589)
posted 2 hours, 58 minutes ago
Have you guys heard about the Dolly Parton diet? It made my buddy Joe lean.
----------------------------------------------------------------------

comment by Pun (U21588)
posted 3 minutes ago
comment by InBefore (U20589)
posted 2 hours, 58 minutes ago
Have you guys heard about the Dolly Parton diet? It made my buddy Joe lean.
----------------------------------------------------------------------

----------------------------------------------------------------------
The beer diet made my bud wiser

A brand new store has just opened in New York City that sells Husbands.

When women go to choose a husband, they have to follow the instructions at the entrance: "You may visit this store ONLY ONCE!

There are 6 floors and the value of the products increase as you ascend the flights.

You may choose any item from a particular floor or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you CANNOT go back down except to exit the building!"

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband.

The 1st floor sign reads: Floor 1 - These men have jobs.

The 2nd floor sign reads: Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.

The 3rd floor sign reads: Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids and are extremely good looking.

"Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

She goes to the 4th floor and the sign reads: Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help with Housework. "Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!"

Still, she goes to the 5th floor and the sign reads: Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, help with Housework and Have A Strong Romantic Streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the 6th floor and the sign reads: Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store!!! To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opens a New Wives Store just across the street. The 1st floor has wives who love shex. The 2nd floor has wives who love shex and have money. The 3rd through 6th floors have never been visited.

Yer

Women eh

Man goes to the doctors says doc I am always ill I have coughs colds I ache I'm sick I've got no energy I've got spots I've got rashes I've got broken bones I'm allergic to everything I think I have cancer what can you do for me

Doctor says not a lot really I think you've got hypochondria

The man says oh no not that on top of everything else

Need the Police?
Dial 101 immediately
We are only a phone call and 3 days away

comment by Sheriff JW Pepper (U1007)
posted 2 days, 5 hours ago
Man goes to the doctors says doc I am always ill I have coughs colds I ache I'm sick I've got no energy I've got spots I've got rashes I've got broken bones I'm allergic to everything I think I have cancer what can you do for me

Doctor says not a lot really I think you've got hypochondria

The man says oh no not that on top of everything else
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Acknowledged

comment by downtheplughole (U22523)
posted 2 minutes ago
Need the Police?
Dial 101 immediately
We are only a phone call and 3 days away
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Be easier to call 0118999881999119725 3

comment by Pranks - 2024 LFC Draft Champ (U22336)
posted 2 days, 7 hours ago
A brand new store has just opened in New York City that sells Husbands.

When women go to choose a husband, they have to follow the instructions at the entrance: "You may visit this store ONLY ONCE!

There are 6 floors and the value of the products increase as you ascend the flights.

You may choose any item from a particular floor or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you CANNOT go back down except to exit the building!"

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband.

The 1st floor sign reads: Floor 1 - These men have jobs.

The 2nd floor sign reads: Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.

The 3rd floor sign reads: Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids and are extremely good looking.

"Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

She goes to the 4th floor and the sign reads: Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help with Housework. "Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!"

Still, she goes to the 5th floor and the sign reads: Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, help with Housework and Have A Strong Romantic Streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the 6th floor and the sign reads: Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store!!! To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opens a New Wives Store just across the street. The 1st floor has wives who love shex. The 2nd floor has wives who love shex and have money. The 3rd through 6th floors have never been visited.
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Little Johnny arrived home from school with a note from the teacher for his mother. She read the note and sighed.

"Really Johnny. Swearing in class. Your father will have to deal with this."

Later on Little Johnny is with his father.

"What this I hear about you swearing in school?" he growled.
"Well I'll tell you what happened," Little Johnny said. "I was asked what nine plus seven was and I said sixteen."
"That's right," said his father.
"Then I was asked what seven and nine equals."
"What's the f-ing difference?" asked his father.

"That's just what I said," replied Little Johnny.

"My wife's father said if you marry my daughter,

I'll give you three acres and a cow.

I'm still waiting for the three acres...

An ally of Vladimir Putin says Russian missiles can 'destroy British civilisation'.

No need mate, Rupert Murdoch and Margaret Thatcher beat you to it years ago.

Bloody tories

My doctor told me, "Your patella measures 2.54 cm."

I said, "Inch-high knees?"

My doctor replied, "您的髌骨长 2.54 厘米."

My doctor loves to hit people on the knee with a little hammer. he really gets a kick out of it

Saw a book today about the top 5 basements in the world.

It was a best cellar

Biden puts politics aside and wishes Reagan a full recovery.