Jermaine Pennant - the walking stereotype

Today it emerged that Pennant has been charged with driving while disqualified, driving under the influence of alcohol, and driving without insurance. This is not the first time he has committed motoring offences, either: this is the third time in eight years, and the second time that the offence has involved alcohol. In 2005, while still on Arsenal’s books, he was forced to wear an electronic tag on the pitch while playing for Birmingham on loan.

Pennant is, essentially, the personification of the ‘dumb footballer’ stereotype; he checks pretty much all the boxes – a succession of motoring offences, a string of infidelities with glamour models, an inability to resist nightlife, and a conspicuous lack of education (it was discovered during one of his trials that he is illiterate).

The irony of all this? Pennant once claimed that football saved him from a life of crime. For me, the strangest thing is that all of his misdemeanours and shortcomings are the result of a total lack of maturity; and yet, how could somebody who helped his widowed father raise his three younger siblings be so pampered and spoilt?

He’s talented enough, in my opinion. I was disappointed by his departure from Arsenal, where I believe he could have flourished; had he managed to get his personal life in order, he would surely have been in double figures for England caps by now. But his volatility makes him an unnecessary risk, which means he has spent what should have been his prime years at Stoke City, where he’s one of the few players capable of using his feet to move a football.