A Truce

Don't kill me, spurs fans! I come in peace.

Let's be honest. As great as Arsenal and Tottenham are, we can't compete with the Manchester clubs financially. And if Chelsea get their act together, they are more than capable of making waves too. Liverpool as well have been splashing the cash so our humble North London sides may have a tough time staying competitive in future seasons.

So here is my solution: a truce. A cooperative effort to make sure that the dominant side in English football comes from North London. We combine our teams!

Think about it. No other team in Europe could cope with Spursenal!

Manager: Harrene Wengknapp. A 'triffic yet short-sighted man-manager with an eye for a bargain.

Goalkeeper: Wad Szcziesal. 21 years old with over 20 years at the top level.

Right Back: Backyle Walka. Strong and pacy with godlike hair.

Centre Back: Youmas Kabaelen: Very french.

Centre Back: Lauriam Gallielny. Even frencher.

Left Back: Keiroit Gissou-Ekibbo. Not even sure where to start pronouncing this name.

Right Midfield: Aareo Lencott. Runs like the wind, shoots like the wind. Very windy. Whoooosh!

Central Midfield: Alott Parkong. English grit with blonde dreads. What's not to love?

Central Midfield: Lack Wilshic. More English grit with Croatian grit. More grit than you can throw grit at, you gritty, grit-loving gritter.

Left Midfield: Gerale. What's more devastating than a Welshman with a forehead the size of Caerphilly Castle? Nothing, that's what.

Striker: Emmobin Van Adebersie. A 6ft tall silver fox with not one but two eyes for goal. Breathtaking.

Striker: The new boy, Lukaine Podoe. Is it just me or does this sound like a Star Wars character? If there's one thing missing in this unstoppable force of a football team, it's a Jedi influence.

So what say you, spurs fans? Up for a little gene-splicing? There's no question in my mind that this unholy amalgamation of our beloved teams will dominate Europe forever and ever.

You're welcome.