England Denied Averages!

Just for you neon......

England's players are said to be distraught this morning after the shock revelation that their record breaking performances in the recent test series with India will not count towards their test averages.

Haroon Lorgat, the ICC Chief Executive, stated that given the quality of the Indian team was only barely county standard, he could not justify allowing England's players to have such an easy boost to their playing statistics. He was also quoted as saying, 'My mum could have scored a ton against that attack.'

In another startling revelation, the Indian selectors are trying to contact, via a medium, Sir Geoffrey Boycott's mother, (widely recognised as the greatest player never to play the game), to advise their batting line up. Duncan Fletcher has already popped down to the local supermarket to pick up some sticks of rhubarb...