United Tactics Against Wolves

Good hi,

There has been a lot of discussion about our tactics for the Wolves game tonight, so I thought I would set out a detailed approach for tonight in terms of player positioning and movement etc.

We all know that Wolves are going to sit deep, with the aim of countering us. What has brought us a lot of success in recent week is playing on the counter ourselves, so logically the only way to beat Wolves at their own game is to sit even deeper than them and bring them on to us, and then counter them. Player positioning and their movements are absolutely key here. We really are going to have to sit VERY deep tonight.

Please find attached the tactics board/map I have created to show where each player should be positioned and also the key movements of each player. I have included reasoning below for the positioning and movement of each player. Please refer to the attached tactics board/map at all times. You can see just how deep we will need to be positioned.

https://drive.google.com/open?id=18ehWr9GXwRzgJxo0w09Jawynp_YE9uE7&usp=sharing

De Gea

Positioning: The ECC Sports Club and Social Club
Quite simple reasoning here. He will not have a lot to do so we need to keep him entertained so that he does not get bored. He likes sports and being social, so this is the logical positioning for him, being the deepest player.


Shaw

Positioning: Xercise4Less Wolverhampton
He is a fat barstard so could do with losing a bit of weight which would allow him to counter quicker


Phil Jones

Positioning: Wolverhamption Racecourse
He is a donkey but is somehow not aware of this, so he could run around the track thinking he’s a horse and that would keep him out of the way.


Maguire

Positioning: Screwfix
He is solid but at times I think he has a screw loose, so this should solve that and keep him focussed.


Lindelof

Positioning: Royal Mail
Because he always delivers


Wan Bissaka

Positioning: ADAS Wolverhampton
Because I heard somewhere that he was dyslexic so he will think he is in ASDA where Rashford actually is, so he will be further forward than he thinks which helps keep in deep.


McTominay

Positioning: Dunstall Primary School
Because he looks like a 5 year old.


Pogba

Positioning: TLC College
The natural progression from school where McTominay is. The two link up well. Also Tender Love and Care (TLC) College is where we need to have Pogba at the moment to make sure that he is happy and doesn’t leave. Also he is stupid.


Lingard

Positioning: PDSA Pets Hospital
Because he is always injured and is some species of tree shrew I think. Good place for him if he gets injured


Martial

Positioning: The Style Inn
Because he has style hahahahaaha


Rashford

Positioning: Chargemaster Charge Station (next to ASDA I think)
He will be the chargemaster leading all of our charges forward, from the chargemaster charge station.


I know this seems like common sense and quite high level but if you actually look at some of the positioning here, when Wolves come at us, we are actually in great positions to counter attack them, mainly because we are very, very, very deep, but also because of some of the priorities. For example there is a roundabout just between the halfway line and where Rashford is positioned, so when the Wolves player is trying to go forward, Rashford can sneak around the other side of the roundabout, bypassing him and leading the counter attack. There are also many other things but I am hungry.

The end.