Inspired by Dave Fishbotherer and just because...
In an act of perfectly characteristic and monumental stupidity, Ed Woodward decides to spring clean, sacking every member of staff at Old Trafford and replacing them exclusively with members of the JA606 United board.
He has entrusted you with nominating contributors for the following existing and brand new posts:
Technical Director
Head Coach
Head of Scouting - FILLED
Head of Fitness
Head of Corporate Hospitality
Head of Media Relations - FILLED
Stadium Tour Guide - FILLED
Stadium Announcer - FILLED
Kit Man
You have also been invited to suggest further new roles to help meet the club’s strategic objectives and to nominate candidates for these positions.
Have fun (and be at least a little nice to each other, you caaaaants )
EDIT:
Confirmed appointments:
Head of Media Relations and Executive Target Kiboshment - VC
Head of Global (Welsh) Scouting - Diafol Coch
Head of Performance Analysis - Hafi
Defensive Coach and Lead Data Presentation Design - Barry
Stadium Tour Guide - MU52
Stadium Announcer - Red Cogniganzbsciente
Head of Buffet Catering - Dave
Head of Goalpost Logistics - Robb
Executive Director of Legal Services - Winston
Head of Programming MUTV - StringerBell
Merseyside Liaison Officer - Pidier Pogba
Job vacancies
posted on 29/9/19
I'm honoured guys. I shall serve you well!
You have forgotten the crucial role of 'Dabbing Consultant' though. Someone to help us co-ordinate our goal celebrations. We need to get it right as it'll be a regular occurrence.
posted on 29/9/19
comment by Diafol Coch 77 - A Reputable Poster (U2462)
posted 1 minute ago
I'm honoured guys. I shall serve you well!
You have forgotten the crucial role of 'Dabbing Consultant' though. Someone to help us co-ordinate our goal celebrations. We need to get it right as it'll be a regular occurrence.
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Pidier could tweak his current role and celebrate our successes, not just Liverpool’s failures. He’s not got much on these days
posted on 29/9/19
comment by Clockwork Red (U4892)
posted 55 seconds ago
comment by Diafol Coch 77 - A Reputable Poster (U2462)
posted 1 minute ago
I'm honoured guys. I shall serve you well!
You have forgotten the crucial role of 'Dabbing Consultant' though. Someone to help us co-ordinate our goal celebrations. We need to get it right as it'll be a regular occurrence.
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Pidier could tweak his current role and celebrate our successes, not just Liverpool’s failures. He’s not got much on these days
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He still won't!
posted on 29/9/19
Did i get the job or not cos i’ll set up meself on Youtube instead...
posted on 29/9/19
comment by StringerBell (U11749)
posted 32 minutes ago
Did i get the job or not cos i’ll set up meself on Youtube instead...
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You’re in.
A bit harsh not to give the job to Arab given his training and experience really, but...
Wedding Day Crashers
posted on 29/9/19
Woohoo!! You won’t regret it!
Thats cool, i’ll commission Arab a project and he can let fly.
Also, i will embrace the Fan channels and give them a platform for constructive criticism.
The phone in show is dead, my propasal is to have the fans at the game come straight into the studio and debate, rather than phone-ins from people who havent seen the game yet.
Phone in show will be filler in the midweek.
Wait?! Arab was in Wedding Crashers?
posted on 29/9/19
comment by StringerBell (U11749)
posted 8 minutes ago
Woohoo!! You won’t regret it!
Thats cool, i’ll commission Arab a project and he can let fly.
Also, i will embrace the Fan channels and give them a platform for constructive criticism.
The phone in show is dead, my propasal is to have the fans at the game come straight into the studio and debate, rather than phone-ins from people who havent seen the game yet.
Phone in show will be filler in the midweek.
Wait?! Arab was in Wedding Crashers?
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Not the film (as far as I'm aware...)
Maybe I've got the title wrong, but he was involved in the production of a UK reality TV show on weddings.
I'm a big fan of fan channels, so I'm fully on board with your proposal. I'd love to see Manc Python, the black rooney and Comic Book Guy smashing the studio and each other up after a lacklustre away draw against Newcastle, for example. That's real entertainment.
posted on 29/9/19
Merseyside Liaison Officer - Pidier Pogba
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posted on 30/9/19
Head of Corporate Hospitality - Python
posted on 30/9/19
comment by Wahl Icht... (U22240)
posted 20 hours, 57 minutes ago
Merseyside Liaison Officer - Pidier Pogba
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