Scunner - you out there?

comment by Admin1 (U1)
posted 2 minutes ago
comment by thebluebellsarablue (U9292)
posted 40 seconds ago
Admin.

Is it work, here or wine,?

Is it worth it?

Take care, friend.

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Its work i think, trouble on here i sometimes doesn't help obviously. Will be getting liver results on tuesday, and ive been drinking over 100 units a week for many years. So got fingers crossed on that one.
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Ach man, i am not sure where to begin, but a sober person would advise clean living, good food and exercise for a few months, like a boring can't....but like me, you know it already.

Ulster folk self destruct, like Best n Higgins and Dunlop bike racers, and it's the same all over, as we just get drawn in to a way of life, but there are other ways.......less risky or cool, but valid.

Yes, cheers admin.

comment by Winston (U16525)
posted 7 minutes ago
Gary, massive respect to you for sharing that post with us.

If you feel uncomfortable seeing your GP or speaking with people offline then keep sharing your feelings on here.

I’m sure that in many cases, some people on here can either relate or help support you.

Take care mate and looking forward to the banter next season when you’re on the Premier League board.

Leeds away. Massive game!
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Top man, Winston.

comment by Winston (U16525)
posted 13 minutes ago
Gary, massive respect to you for sharing that post with us.

If you feel uncomfortable seeing your GP or speaking with people offline then keep sharing your feelings on here.

I’m sure that in many cases, some people on here can either relate or help support you.

Take care mate and looking forward to the banter next season when you’re on the Premier League board.

Leeds away. Massive game!
----------------------------------------------------------------------

comment by 1 Star Bandit (Scunner) (U22287)
posted 9 minutes ago
comment by Winston (U16525)
posted 13 minutes ago
Gary, massive respect to you for sharing that post with us.

If you feel uncomfortable seeing your GP or speaking with people offline then keep sharing your feelings on here.

I’m sure that in many cases, some people on here can either relate or help support you.

Take care mate and looking forward to the banter next season when you’re on the Premier League board.

Leeds away. Massive game!
----------------------------------------------------------------------


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Leeds will do it this time.

Admin and OP.
Look after your mental and physical health, as nothing else matters.

Get that right, then you can look after us.

Great to hear you are back with us, Gary, and thanks for sharing your feelings and experiences. This rings a bell for me:
'From my previous career of working as a Prison officer it lead to me developing general anxiety disorder and depression. I was involved in a hostage incident which obviously has lead me to develop this illness. I got diagnosed with this back in 2006. '
Like you, I worked in prisons for a number of years, and with offenders in the community, as a Probation Officer.
Firstly, Prison Officers do the toughest job in the world and are the craziest bunch of lunatics on the planet When stuff goes down in prison, stuff no-one ever hears about, the first responders are the Prison Officers. Guys in prison bring their sh*t with them when they are sent down, and it's men and women like you who have to deal with it. I fully understand the pride you felt putting on the uniform each day, working with individuals who the public don't want to know. Being a prison officer takes courage and moral responsibility, often in extremely challenging circumstances, as you described.
There is fantastic camaraderie in the Prison Service, but there are a lot of people who are deeply scarred by their experiences. You have been at the sharpest end of that and you are describing what sounds like post-traumatic stress. Please go back for help. Can the Prison Service support you here? Even though you are no longer with them, is there some kind of support group for PO's who feel the same way you do? You are not alone, Gary, I could name many PO's from my time who went through what is happening to you.
One of the things I learned from working with offenders is that you get worn down. It's the nature of the job, Gary. You see things other people cannot imagine or believe. You have to respond and sometimes you are the last person in a prisoner's world. You give so much of yourself when a lot of people turn their backs.
At a certain point in my career, I am not sure when, I began to see offenders everywhere - in my town, my family, my sports activities - just little actions or attitudes - and I became more and more sceptical about people in general. I had one year where four of my clients died in dreadful circumstances. I had had enough. It affected my relationships with family and friends. I tried to find work elsewhere but couldn't. Looking back, I was in a very dark place. In the end, I took a trip to New Zealand for a month, and that changed everything. The past doesn't go away, Gary, but every day adds a little more perspective to it.
You have come a long way since then, and the fact that you have shared so much with posters shows your great strength of character. So keep being brave and speaking out and gathering around the ones you love. Tell them you love them, even if this is hard at times, keep doing it. You are not to blame for this. You have a lot to be proud of, especially leaving the family of the Prison Service and making your way in the world. Take your boy to his new school and watch how he grows and flourishes. Be there for him and he will be there for you. Most importantly, and I am so glad you acknowledged this, you know that you are not alone, that there are posters here who are sharing your suffering with you, and praying for your well-being. Take care, Gary, MOT. David

comment by All the Bielsa ringing (U19827)
posted 24 minutes ago
Great to hear you are back with us, Gary, and thanks for sharing your feelings and experiences. This rings a bell for me:
'From my previous career of working as a Prison officer it lead to me developing general anxiety disorder and depression. I was involved in a hostage incident which obviously has lead me to develop this illness. I got diagnosed with this back in 2006. '
Like you, I worked in prisons for a number of years, and with offenders in the community, as a Probation Officer.
Firstly, Prison Officers do the toughest job in the world and are the craziest bunch of lunatics on the planetWhen stuff goes down in prison, stuff no-one ever hears about, the first responders are the Prison Officers. Guys in prison bring their sh*t with them when they are sent down, and it's men and women like you who have to deal with it. I fully understand the pride you felt putting on the uniform each day, working with individuals who the public don't want to know. Being a prison officer takes courage and moral responsibility, often in extremely challenging circumstances, as you described.
There is fantastic camaraderie in the Prison Service, but there are a lot of people who are deeply scarred by their experiences. You have been at the sharpest end of that and you are describing what sounds like post-traumatic stress. Please go back for help. Can the Prison Service support you here? Even though you are no longer with them, is there some kind of support group for PO's who feel the same way you do? You are not alone, Gary, I could name many PO's from my time who went through what is happening to you.
One of the things I learned from working with offenders is that you get worn down. It's the nature of the job, Gary. You see things other people cannot imagine or believe. You have to respond and sometimes you are the last person in a prisoner's world. You give so much of yourself when a lot of people turn their backs.
At a certain point in my career, I am not sure when, I began to see offenders everywhere - in my town, my family, my sports activities - just little actions or attitudes - and I became more and more sceptical about people in general. I had one year where four of my clients died in dreadful circumstances. I had had enough. It affected my relationships with family and friends. I tried to find work elsewhere but couldn't. Looking back, I was in a very dark place. In the end, I took a trip to New Zealand for a month, and that changed everything. The past doesn't go away, Gary, but every day adds a little more perspective to it.
You have come a long way since then, and the fact that you have shared so much with posters shows your great strength of character. So keep being brave and speaking out and gathering around the ones you love. Tell them you love them, even if this is hard at times, keep doing it. You are not to blame for this. You have a lot to be proud of, especially leaving the family of the Prison Service and making your way in the world. Take your boy to his new school and watch how he grows and flourishes. Be there for him and he will be there for you. Most importantly, and I am so glad you acknowledged this, you know that you are not alone, that there are posters here who are sharing your suffering with you, and praying for your well-being. Take care, Gary, MOT. David

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Thanks for your kind words.

Theres been all kinds of incidents ive been involved in but at the time when they happen you put on a front that nothing scares/bothers you as you want to be seen as one of the lads.

The camararderie you mention is what gets you through it at the time.

I always felt like i didnt want to let my colleagues down and that if they saw me struggling then they might lose confidence in me watching there back when the 5hit hit the fan.

Its only after when you think back that you realise what happened or what could have happened.

I never kept in touch with anyone from there when i left.
Its hard to explain but i feel embarassed i couldnt hack it anymore.

I know they would be there for me but ive wanted to leave it in the past even though its always there.

comment by 1 Star Bandit (Scunner) (U22287)
posted 11 hours, 42 minutes ago
comment by All the Bielsa ringing (U19827)
posted 24 minutes ago
Great to hear you are back with us, Gary, and thanks for sharing your feelings and experiences. This rings a bell for me:
'From my previous career of working as a Prison officer it lead to me developing general anxiety disorder and depression. I was involved in a hostage incident which obviously has lead me to develop this illness. I got diagnosed with this back in 2006. '
Like you, I worked in prisons for a number of years, and with offenders in the community, as a Probation Officer.
Firstly, Prison Officers do the toughest job in the world and are the craziest bunch of lunatics on the planetWhen stuff goes down in prison, stuff no-one ever hears about, the first responders are the Prison Officers. Guys in prison bring their sh*t with them when they are sent down, and it's men and women like you who have to deal with it. I fully understand the pride you felt putting on the uniform each day, working with individuals who the public don't want to know. Being a prison officer takes courage and moral responsibility, often in extremely challenging circumstances, as you described.
There is fantastic camaraderie in the Prison Service, but there are a lot of people who are deeply scarred by their experiences. You have been at the sharpest end of that and you are describing what sounds like post-traumatic stress. Please go back for help. Can the Prison Service support you here? Even though you are no longer with them, is there some kind of support group for PO's who feel the same way you do? You are not alone, Gary, I could name many PO's from my time who went through what is happening to you.
One of the things I learned from working with offenders is that you get worn down. It's the nature of the job, Gary. You see things other people cannot imagine or believe. You have to respond and sometimes you are the last person in a prisoner's world. You give so much of yourself when a lot of people turn their backs.
At a certain point in my career, I am not sure when, I began to see offenders everywhere - in my town, my family, my sports activities - just little actions or attitudes - and I became more and more sceptical about people in general. I had one year where four of my clients died in dreadful circumstances. I had had enough. It affected my relationships with family and friends. I tried to find work elsewhere but couldn't. Looking back, I was in a very dark place. In the end, I took a trip to New Zealand for a month, and that changed everything. The past doesn't go away, Gary, but every day adds a little more perspective to it.
You have come a long way since then, and the fact that you have shared so much with posters shows your great strength of character. So keep being brave and speaking out and gathering around the ones you love. Tell them you love them, even if this is hard at times, keep doing it. You are not to blame for this. You have a lot to be proud of, especially leaving the family of the Prison Service and making your way in the world. Take your boy to his new school and watch how he grows and flourishes. Be there for him and he will be there for you. Most importantly, and I am so glad you acknowledged this, you know that you are not alone, that there are posters here who are sharing your suffering with you, and praying for your well-being. Take care, Gary, MOT. David

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Thanks for your kind words.

Theres been all kinds of incidents ive been involved in but at the time when they happen you put on a front that nothing scares/bothers you as you want to be seen as one of the lads.

The camararderie you mention is what gets you through it at the time.

I always felt like i didnt want to let my colleagues down and that if they saw me struggling then they might lose confidence in me watching there back when the 5hit hit the fan.

Its only after when you think back that you realise what happened or what could have happened.

I never kept in touch with anyone from there when i left.
Its hard to explain but i feel embarassed i couldnt hack it anymore.

I know they would be there for me but ive wanted to leave it in the past even though its always there.

----------------------------------------------------------------------
Hi Gary, I think your last statement says it all. Please check this link, if you haven't done so already. It is for current and past POA members in the UK.
https://www.poauk.org.uk/index.php?charities-assisting-members
Best wishes, David

Being a prison officer and changing your mind about doing do...

Unless folk work there, they do not know, so no shame moving on, Scunner.