Call Sign's Annual Xmas Poem

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through JA
Not a creature was stirring, not even deBear;
The stockings were hung by the chimney in the den,
What do you know, it’s another Tav Pen.

The bears were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of Stevie G danced in their heads;
Zachsda in his onesie, downing pints by the dozen
Here’s my special Christmas cookie getting baked in the oven.

When out on the Celtic Way arose such a clatter,
There are sharks on the loose, looking for Lennon to batter;
Away from the site Ginger flew like a flash,
“Name the blackmailer" demanded HB Fash.

The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
Stay in your houses, outside you can’t go,
When, what to SPR’s wondering eyes should appear,
But a miniature sleigh, and eight JA reindeer,

With a little servant driver, a strange guy named Miller,
I knew in a moment it must be Lauders.
More rapid than eagles his scarfers they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;

"Now, Puyol! now, Atheist! now, Coisty and Shizo!
On, Mummy! on Crystal! on, Bluenose and Earl!
We are top of the league! We’ve come so far!
HB Fash demanded “Who put a bomb under Morelos’ car?"

NNH was having his lunch, it was a chateaubriand,
A drizzle of chimichurri, and a side of dauphinoise;
JFK appeared, but this isn’t the Ritz,
It’s just steak and mayonnaise ya daft p00ft!ts.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof
The prancing and pawing of each little hoof.
As I drew in my hand, and was turning around,
Down the chimney Duke came with a bound.

He was dressed all in Castore, from his head to his core,
The additional of the school jumper out of five was a four;
A statement proclaimed asterisks being added were vital,
I think he meant Earl’s Predictor title.

His eyes-how they twinkled! Wee Joe was back but not smarter!,
His first article said, I won’t be kneeling as all lives matter!;
Big Eck has now gone, he said the site was not cool,
You could be in the Algarve if you worked harder at school.

Maheed had arrived not a moment too soon,
You’ll never believe it guys, they’ve put a man on the moon;
Pointy got here after marking a kids jotter or three,
It’s beggars belief how he’s not been caught by Yewtree;

Ivan was feeling down but normally a right jolly old elf,
CT laughed anyway in spite of himself;
A wink of his eye and a look of trouble
Silver now works as an agent for Bubble;

Magnum spoke not a word, he's fed up with his work,
Another trip cancelled, no longer a perk,
Ghod arrived and tapped the side of his nose,
After giving a snort, up the chimney he rose;

Call Sign sprang to his sleigh, to the JA team gave a whistle,
And all the team cheered like a late winner at Thistle.
But I heard him exclaim to one and to all
MERRY CHRISTMAS TO EVERYONE, THANK GOD FOR FOOTBALL