Doing the rounds. I thought it was worth a share.
End of season player review
Barkas - 1/10
Lady's front bottom is a SEGA Master-system. Incapable of making saves. Probably the most tragic of greek tragedies since the works of Euripides.
Bain - 1/10
He's a Dundee Utd Keeper.
Conor Hazard - 2/10
Gets a extra point just for his penalty heroics against Hearts. Otherwise complete and utter shiite.
You couldn't build a competent keeper out of the three of these if you broke them down for parts.
Christopher Julien 4/10
Actually still think he's decent on his day and he's got brittle bones and gets bullied by pub strikers.
Greg Taylor - 1/10
He's a hvn, he's weak, he can't pass, he can't get by a man, he's a hvn. Gets 6 points for effort but 5 points deducted for being a hvn.
Shane Duffy - 1/10
Looks like a farmer and plays like one. Quite literally the worst centre back to ever turn out for us. Caused more damage to us than any single opposition player has.
Jonjoe Kenny - 2/10
I do not know what we were expecting signing a lady's front bottom called Jonjoe. He's worse than Greg Taylor put I have to give him an extra point on the account of not being a hvn.
Kristofer Ajer - 3/10
Could never doubt his commitment but just as culpable as anyone else in the defence this season. For a big lad he seems to disappear when the ball is whipped into our box.
Anthony Ralston - 9/10
We barely saw him and for that I'm extremely thankful.
Stephen Welsh - 5/10
Gets a few extra points for not being Shane Duffy.
Diego Laxalt - 2/10
Perhaps sums up the absurdity of this season that we managed to signed a Uruguayan International from AC Milan that turned out to be absolutely hopeless at football. Would make a cracking long distance runner as long as he wouldn't be required to stay in a specific lane. Every bit as bad as Greg Taylor, if not worse, but have to give him an extra point just for not being a hvn.
Nir Biton - 1/10
A rolls royce. Could play with slippers on etc.
Amazing that he's been with us for so long despite the fact that he can't get a game in midfield because he's shiite. Time for him to go occupy some other territory where he's not wanted.
End of season player reviews