Call Sign's Annual Christmas Poem

'Twas the night before Christmas, switched off is his phone
Not a creature was stirring, Silver Jnr is home;
The stockings were hung on the chimney by strangers,
What do you know, it’s a Penalty to Rangers.

The bhoys were nestled all snug in their beds,
With dreams of flying sharks stuck in their heads;
The Celtic board saying “Howe, that will do"
When the Bhoys all erupt, who the fvcks Postecoglou?

When down at Ibrox arose such a clatter,
Villa want Gerrard, he won’t leave – doesn’t matter
Away from the club he flew like a flash,
“I’ve had enough of that portrait of the Queen in a Sash".

The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
Magnum was throwing snowballs, so Higgins must Go.
When, what to The Duke’s wondering eyes should appear,
But a miniature sleigh, and eight JA reindeer,

With a little old driver, so lively and quick,
TMQ climbs the mountains, to help the needy and sick
More rapid than eagles his fellow cliquers they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;

"Now, Bluebell! now, Palaver! now, Lauders and RocknRoll!
On, Mummy! on Miller! on, POV and troll!
We are top of the league! Winning cups does not matter!
Your manager is tiny, well yours is just fatter!

NNH was having his lunch, with his serving of poulet on a high,
Crispy and seasoned, with a side of nam chim kai;
JFK appeared, but this isn’t the Ritz,
It’s just chicken pakora ya daft p00ft!ts.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof
The prancing and pawing of each little hoof.
As I drew in my hand, and was turning around,
Down the chimney Ivan came with a bound.

He was dressed all in Orange, from his neck to his wrists,
I’m just back from the game, not one for the purists;
Wee Jum by his side, more Arabs came back,
Ivan has just one wish, empty Admin’s sack.

His eyes-how they twinkled! Pedro came back time and again!,
His new moniker said, our 1 trophy ruined them!;
Zachsda has now gone, he has just popped to Tesco,
They have a great offer, it’s on Chicken al fresco.

Pointy teaches kids, starting with A-B-C,
Wait until the parents read this site, he’ll be reading Op Yewtree;
SPR got here with a new baby on tow,
Guys, you’ll be rich, if you buy my new crypto;

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,
Juke laughed in the mirror in spite of himself;
A wink of his eye and a deft little nod
Atheist has changed, he’s finally found Ghod;

Ginger spoke not a word, he's fed up with the COVID,
Another holiday cancelled, he is absolutely livid,
Wee Joe has arrived but where has he been?,
You’d never have guessed it, he’s anti-vaccine;

Call Sign sprang to his sleigh, to the JA team gave a whistle,
And all the team cheered like a late winner at Thistle.
But I heard him exclaim to one and to all
MERRY CHRISTMAS TO EVERYONE, THANK GOD FOR FOOTBALL