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If Premier League managers had normal jobs

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comment by Kano (U20144)

posted on 14/11/19

Emery's and Ole's jobs

posted on 14/11/19

Comment deleted by Site Moderator

posted on 14/11/19

Bruce’s is the best, so believable

posted on 14/11/19

That was brilliant

posted on 14/11/19

Twitter

posted on 14/11/19

Nuno at Wolves is my favourite!

posted on 14/11/19

comment by Greatteamswinit4times- a terrible enemy (U6008)
posted 1 hour, 19 minutes ago
Steve Bruce as a butcher is amazing.
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yeh that is actually completely bang on

posted on 14/11/19

Roy too, can just imagine him as a vicar think they’re all pretty bang on to be fair haha

posted on 14/11/19

Can someone do a simplified list? I am not clicking on that.

posted on 14/11/19

1. Jurgen Klopp (Liverpool)

Head of HR at an energy company in Germany, promotes green energy, cycling to work and a healthy work life balance. Often seen smashed on a Thursday with the interns but gets in on Fridays feeling fresh.

2. Brendan Rodgers (Leicester City)

A sales trainer and motivational speaker. Uses a lot of graphs and charts to make you go the extra yard. Improves performance by 150%. No one likes him.

3. Frank Lampard (Chelsea)

Works in the centre of London in insurance. Earns a f*ck ton even though no one really knows what he does. Still finds time to coach his sons u-11 team on a Saturday. Hero.

4. Pep Guardiola (Manchester City)

Maths lecturer. Absolute genius in his craft but is intolerant of his students. Hates laughter. Struggles with normal human interaction. Sleeping on his mates sofa because his wife kicked him out.

5. Chris Wilder (Sheffield United)
Runs a taxi firm. The finest in Yorkshire. Affordable with an excellent and efficient service. Not much banter though.

6. Unai Emery (Arsenal)

Hotel manager in Benidorm. Presentation is perfect but customer service is shocking. Changes the menu every week. All his staff want to leave.

7. Ole Gunnar Solskjaer (Manchester United)

Never had a job ever and lives in his mums basement playing video games. Also runs a Man United fan channel like Mark Goldbridge moaning about how the club is run and saying he would do better.

8. Nuno Espirito Santo (Wolves)
Male model for the older generation. a fashion and style icon that make the ladies swoon. Writes poetry in his spare time.

9. Eddie Howe (Bournemouth)

PE Teacher that all the girls in his school fancy for no real reason. He's a nice guy but fully expect detention if you forget your kit.

10. Sean Dyche (Burnley)

Bouncer at some dodgy club. Doesn't look twice at the girls' ID but likes to give the lads a hard time. Loves to flex his muscles.

11. Graham Potter (Brighton)
Recruitment Consultant. Slick, trendy and will say anything to make you accept the offer. Also fronts an Oasis tribute band in his spare time.

12. Roy Hodgson (Crystal Palace)

Vicar of the local church in some sleepy southern village. Helps out at the fete and local library. All the old dears love him. Also a failed novelist.

13. Steve Bruce (Newcastle)

Butcher. Finest lamb chops in all the north east. Good honest labour. Always gives extra to the older ladies. Been known to eat all his stock.

14. Mauricio Pochettino (Tottenham)
Runs a trendy tech start up in London. Had a few really good years but now struggling because all his best members of staff want to leave. Looking to sell up and join a bigger firm.

15. Marco Silva (Everton)

Currently unemployed after a string of high level jobs in big organisations for that he is unqualified for. Is great in interviews but hasn't actually a clue what he is doing on a day to day basis.

16. Manuel Pellegrini (West Ham)

Supply teacher. The Year 10 boys know its party time when Mr Pellegrini turns up. Kids take advantage of his kindly nature and also the fact he is totally useless at his job.

17. Dean Smith (Aston Villa)

Has his own one-man-band painting and decorating firm. Bombing round the midlands in his van making sure all your walls are looking fantastic. Reasonably priced, too.

18. Quique Sanchez Flores (Watford)
Owns a nightclub in Ibiza just across the road from Lineker's. Is best mates with Wayne Lineker. Also rumoured to have starred in several adult films

19. Ralph Hasenhuttl (Southampton)

Skiing instructor. Looks cool and groovy as hes swishing down the Austrian alps. Probably having an affair with your mum too.

20. Daniel Farke (Norwich)

Roadie with German Industrial Rock band Rammstein. Has known to drive the tour bus after 10 pints. Never had a bank account or mobile phone.

comment by Devil (U6522)

posted on 14/11/19

All pretty much spot on

posted on 15/11/19

Emery's is absolutely bob-on.

Gareth Southgate - High-end menswear proprietor. A gentleman to the core but also manages to seem like one of the lads. Professionalism and quality are his bread and butter. Better wares than his customers have seen in a long time. Still gets occasional grief for a howler he made in the shop front years ago back when he was just a lowly sales bod.

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