I never use to have a drink problem. but now since the pubs have closed, I have.
Seen a good WhatsApp earlier
A picture of a pint of Guinness with the caption
Open the pubs, black pints matter
Ricky Gervais at the golden globes
“I like a drink as much as the next man, as long as the next man isn’t Mel Gibson”
Paddy sat in a pub,with an empty beer glass in front of him. His mate Mick taps him on the shoulder. And he asks do you want another one?
Bejaysus replies Paddy what would I be wanting another empty glass for?
comment by Liverpoolwhoelse17 (U16825)
posted 2 minutes ago
Paddy sat in a pub,with an empty beer glass in front of him. His mate Mick taps him on the shoulder. And he asks do you want another one?
Bejaysus replies Paddy what would I be wanting another empty glass for?
----------------------------------------------------------------------
😂
Great line in The Mail on Sunday
"I used to drink to drown my sorrows ...but they learnt to swim"
Alcoholism isn't funny. Unless you're drunk. So I'd recommend always being drunk
Work is the curse of the drinking classes.
I would have a really serious drink problem now but some wonderful people have helped me.
Thank you Tesco
I don't drink any more.
But I don't drink any less
Alchohol, the cause of and the solution to all of life's problems.
I never question my drinking, simply put I'm happier drunk than sober?
If we could somehow remove the ripping "fear" the following morning I'm not sure I'd ever bother with sobriety?
A lady politician accused Winston Churchill of being drunk in the House of Commons.
He replied "Yes Miss, but in the morning I shall be sober and you will still be ugly"
And when Lady Astor told him "If you were my husband I'd poison your tea" he replied "If you were my wife I'd dink it".
A man walks into a bar and orders a shot of whiskey then looks into his pocket.
He does this over and over again.
Finally, the bartender asks why he orders a shot of whiskey and afterwards look into his pocket.
The man responded, "I have a picture of my wife in there and when she starts to look good then i'll go home."
Man comes home at 3am very very drunk and his wife is waiting at the door with a rolling pin
The man says hey dontcha think its a bit late to baking love?
comment by Liverpoolwhoelse17 (U16825)
posted 16 minutes ago
Man comes home at 3am very very drunk and his wife is waiting at the door with a rolling pin
The man says hey dontcha think its a bit late to baking love?
----------------------------------------------------------------------
That's Andy Capp
"I'm not saying I'm an alcoholic, but last time I gave a urine sample there was an olive in it."
Can't remember who said that, or if it's exactly right, but I remember Stephen Fry quoting that once.
comment by Clockwork Red (U4892)
posted 1 minute ago
"I'm not saying I'm an alcoholic, but last time I gave a urine sample there was an olive in it."
Can't remember who said that, or if it's exactly right, but I remember Stephen Fry quoting that once.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Surely that's the fault of the guy who put an olive up his own bum and not poor Stephen
Dudley Moore in "Arthur" -
"Not everyone who drinks is a poet. Some of us drink because we're not poets".
Great line - I've written over 40 poems since then.
The case for the defendant is concluded.
Not about alcohol but on a similar theme:
"You read so many negative things about smoking these days - it's almost enough to make one give up reading."
Give up smoking? I'd rather die!
A very high percentage of smokers die
comment by Paul Tosh (U1734)
posted 13 minutes ago
A very high percentage of smokers die
----------------------------------------------------------------------
A very high percentage of people die
comment by Tomkins (U1116)
posted 14 seconds ago
comment by Paul Tosh (U1734)
posted 13 minutes ago
A very high percentage of smokers die
----------------------------------------------------------------------
A very high percentage of people die
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Do they, aye?
Sign in if you want to comment
Alcoholism
Page 1 of 2
posted on 7/6/20
I never use to have a drink problem. but now since the pubs have closed, I have.
posted on 7/6/20
Seen a good WhatsApp earlier
A picture of a pint of Guinness with the caption
Open the pubs, black pints matter
posted on 7/6/20
Ricky Gervais at the golden globes
“I like a drink as much as the next man, as long as the next man isn’t Mel Gibson”
posted on 7/6/20
Paddy sat in a pub,with an empty beer glass in front of him. His mate Mick taps him on the shoulder. And he asks do you want another one?
Bejaysus replies Paddy what would I be wanting another empty glass for?
posted on 7/6/20
comment by Liverpoolwhoelse17 (U16825)
posted 2 minutes ago
Paddy sat in a pub,with an empty beer glass in front of him. His mate Mick taps him on the shoulder. And he asks do you want another one?
Bejaysus replies Paddy what would I be wanting another empty glass for?
----------------------------------------------------------------------
😂
posted on 7/6/20
Great line in The Mail on Sunday
"I used to drink to drown my sorrows ...but they learnt to swim"
posted on 7/6/20
Alcoholism isn't funny. Unless you're drunk. So I'd recommend always being drunk
posted on 7/6/20
Work is the curse of the drinking classes.
posted on 7/6/20
I would have a really serious drink problem now but some wonderful people have helped me.
Thank you Tesco
posted on 7/6/20
I don't drink any more.
But I don't drink any less
posted on 7/6/20
Alchohol, the cause of and the solution to all of life's problems.
posted on 7/6/20
I never question my drinking, simply put I'm happier drunk than sober?
If we could somehow remove the ripping "fear" the following morning I'm not sure I'd ever bother with sobriety?
posted on 7/6/20
A lady politician accused Winston Churchill of being drunk in the House of Commons.
He replied "Yes Miss, but in the morning I shall be sober and you will still be ugly"
And when Lady Astor told him "If you were my husband I'd poison your tea" he replied "If you were my wife I'd dink it".
posted on 7/6/20
A man walks into a bar and orders a shot of whiskey then looks into his pocket.
He does this over and over again.
Finally, the bartender asks why he orders a shot of whiskey and afterwards look into his pocket.
The man responded, "I have a picture of my wife in there and when she starts to look good then i'll go home."
posted on 7/6/20
Man comes home at 3am very very drunk and his wife is waiting at the door with a rolling pin
The man says hey dontcha think its a bit late to baking love?
posted on 7/6/20
comment by Liverpoolwhoelse17 (U16825)
posted 16 minutes ago
Man comes home at 3am very very drunk and his wife is waiting at the door with a rolling pin
The man says hey dontcha think its a bit late to baking love?
----------------------------------------------------------------------
That's Andy Capp
posted on 7/6/20
"I'm not saying I'm an alcoholic, but last time I gave a urine sample there was an olive in it."
Can't remember who said that, or if it's exactly right, but I remember Stephen Fry quoting that once.
posted on 7/6/20
comment by Clockwork Red (U4892)
posted 1 minute ago
"I'm not saying I'm an alcoholic, but last time I gave a urine sample there was an olive in it."
Can't remember who said that, or if it's exactly right, but I remember Stephen Fry quoting that once.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Surely that's the fault of the guy who put an olive up his own bum and not poor Stephen
posted on 7/6/20
Dudley Moore in "Arthur" -
"Not everyone who drinks is a poet. Some of us drink because we're not poets".
Great line - I've written over 40 poems since then.
The case for the defendant is concluded.
posted on 7/6/20
Not about alcohol but on a similar theme:
"You read so many negative things about smoking these days - it's almost enough to make one give up reading."
posted on 7/6/20
Give up smoking? I'd rather die!
posted on 7/6/20
A very high percentage of smokers die
posted on 7/6/20
comment by Paul Tosh (U1734)
posted 13 minutes ago
A very high percentage of smokers die
----------------------------------------------------------------------
A very high percentage of people die
posted on 7/6/20
comment by Tomkins (U1116)
posted 14 seconds ago
comment by Paul Tosh (U1734)
posted 13 minutes ago
A very high percentage of smokers die
----------------------------------------------------------------------
A very high percentage of people die
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Do they, aye?
posted on 7/6/20
Everybody dies.
Page 1 of 2