What is a cannibal's favourite medical drama?
Graze Anatomy.
Why didn't the cannibal eat the guy with no legs ?
Because he was lacktoes intolerant
What do cannibals eat to freshen their breath?
Men toes.
When the cannibal was late for dinner, he got the cold shoulder.
I bought a ceiling fan the other day.
Complete waste of money. He just stands there applauding and saying “Ooh, I love how smooth it is.”
Also he is a cannibal
Happy Birthday Barry. Scotch puns on you today
Man lost in Edinburgh says to a policeman, "Excuse me is there a B&Q in Leith?"
Policeman replies, "No sir, but there are two Ds and two Es in Dundee."
I saw that one earlier but decided against putting it on cause it's chit
comment by Pun - Admin 3 (U21588)
posted 5 minutes ago
I saw that one earlier but decided against putting it on cause it's chit
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Yeah it is
comment by Osman Sow (U1734)
posted 10 minutes ago
Thanks everyone
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Done anything fun on this fine day? Any outdoor excursions?
Not allowed mate. Went to the park with dog, that's about it. Tomorrow tennis with beer and then BBQ with beer, and then beer with beer.
A Roman walks into a bar
He holds up two fingers and says “give me five beers.”
Also he was a cannibal
A Frenchman walks into a bar and surrenders.
Also he was a Cannesibal
A young lad kicks a tin down the street.
It was a canny ball
Ate human limbs out of a big bowl for breakfast.
It was a cannibowl
A monocle walks into a bar and after a few drinks the he starts to feel pretty good (and a little uncoordinated).
He reaches for a cigarette, but the bartender stops him. "Sorry, buddy, but the law doesn't allow smoking in here. You'll have to step outside to smoke."
So the monocle hops off the barstool and grabs his cigarettes to head outside.
Meanwhile a second monocle emerges from the bathroom.
They bump into each other as they cross paths and fall to the floor, hopelessly entangled.
They try to get free but the more they struggle, the more tangled they become.
The bartender looks down on this travesty and shakes his head.
"Hey you two!" he shouts. "Stop making spectacles of yourselves!"
Just noticed that one Kit
A policeman pulled me over yesterday and said, "Papers".
"Scissors" I replied and drove off.
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Pun's Joke Thread
Page 136 of 254
137 | 138 | 139 | 140 | 141
posted on 1/3/21
posted on 1/3/21
What is a cannibal's favourite medical drama?
Graze Anatomy.
posted on 1/3/21
Good one Kit
posted on 1/3/21
Why didn't the cannibal eat the guy with no legs ?
Because he was lacktoes intolerant
posted on 1/3/21
What do cannibals eat to freshen their breath?
Men toes.
posted on 1/3/21
When the cannibal was late for dinner, he got the cold shoulder.
posted on 1/3/21
I bought a ceiling fan the other day.
Complete waste of money. He just stands there applauding and saying “Ooh, I love how smooth it is.”
Also he is a cannibal
posted on 1/3/21
posted on 2/3/21
Happy Birthday Barry. Scotch puns on you today
posted on 2/3/21
Man lost in Edinburgh says to a policeman, "Excuse me is there a B&Q in Leith?"
Policeman replies, "No sir, but there are two Ds and two Es in Dundee."
posted on 2/3/21
I saw that one earlier but decided against putting it on cause it's chit
posted on 2/3/21
Thanks everyone
posted on 2/3/21
Happy Birthday !!
posted on 2/3/21
comment by Pun - Admin 3 (U21588)
posted 5 minutes ago
I saw that one earlier but decided against putting it on cause it's chit
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Yeah it is
posted on 2/3/21
comment by Osman Sow (U1734)
posted 10 minutes ago
Thanks everyone
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Done anything fun on this fine day? Any outdoor excursions?
posted on 2/3/21
Not allowed mate. Went to the park with dog, that's about it. Tomorrow tennis with beer and then BBQ with beer, and then beer with beer.
posted on 2/3/21
Stop I can't beer it
posted on 2/3/21
Ha Pea birthday Ba Pea
posted on 2/3/21
A Roman walks into a bar
He holds up two fingers and says “give me five beers.”
Also he was a cannibal
posted on 2/3/21
A Frenchman walks into a bar and surrenders.
Also he was a Cannesibal
posted on 2/3/21
A young lad kicks a tin down the street.
It was a canny ball
posted on 2/3/21
Ate human limbs out of a big bowl for breakfast.
It was a cannibowl
posted on 3/3/21
A monocle walks into a bar and after a few drinks the he starts to feel pretty good (and a little uncoordinated).
He reaches for a cigarette, but the bartender stops him. "Sorry, buddy, but the law doesn't allow smoking in here. You'll have to step outside to smoke."
So the monocle hops off the barstool and grabs his cigarettes to head outside.
Meanwhile a second monocle emerges from the bathroom.
They bump into each other as they cross paths and fall to the floor, hopelessly entangled.
They try to get free but the more they struggle, the more tangled they become.
The bartender looks down on this travesty and shakes his head.
"Hey you two!" he shouts. "Stop making spectacles of yourselves!"
posted on 4/3/21
Just noticed that one Kit
posted on 4/3/21
A policeman pulled me over yesterday and said, "Papers".
"Scissors" I replied and drove off.
Page 136 of 254
137 | 138 | 139 | 140 | 141