You're purrfect

not quite, but near enough

It's snowing here

Yeah been snowing here but not settling

A truck loaded with Vick’s VapoRub overturned on the motorway.

Amazingly, there was no congestion for eight hours.

Are you on the same Punny facebook groups as I am?

Not on any Facebook groups. I have other sources .....

comment by The Owl 🦉 & hELLo Kitty (U1750)
posted 9 hours ago
It's snowing here
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An elephant is drinking out of a river when he spots a turtle asleep on a log. The elephant ambles over and kicks the unsuspecting turtle clear across the river.

“Why did you do that?” asks a passing giraffe.
“Because I recognized it as the same turtle that took a nip out of my trunk 47 years ago.”

“Wow, what a memory!” says the giraffe.

“Yep,” says the elephant. “Turtle recall.

What do you get if you cross a turtle with a giraffe and a kangaroo?
A turtle neck jumper.

Isn't a bit odd that you have to go completely off the grid to get away and recharge yourself?

Who is the third massive end of a bell to give us one star?

If you're not interested in punny chit chat then fack off to another thread.

I have spoken.

Tell them Kitty

Another 5

'Tweren't me Sir

I just gave it 5 cos I'm scared now.

Keep forgetting about this thread.

How's the punning Pun?

I must have a few hundred to review.

TMQ

It's punning alright though I'm slacking a bit. How are you doing?

I'm good Pun - a wee bit as I should be in Ardnamurchan this week.

Got my refund from the Estate this morning tho.

Just got the green light for outdoor Expeditions in May

comment by Pun Guy (U21588)
posted about an hour ago
Tell them Kitty
----------------------------------------------------------------------

I’ll give you 4 stars

comment by The Mighty Quinn (U4099)
posted about an hour ago
I'm good Pun - a wee bitas I should be in Ardnamurchan this week.

Got my refund from the Estate this morning tho.

Just got the green light for outdoor Expeditions in May


----------------------------------------------------------------------


The easing of restrictions can't come soon enough

comment by LesterFreamon (U22339)
posted 7 minutes ago
I’ll give you 4 stars
----------------------------------------------------------------------
I'll give you a ban

A Norseman is shopping at a supermarket when he comes across an old lady in a wheelchair, almost in tears.
"What's the matter?" He asks.
"Oh," sobs the old lady. "I want to have a look at the frozen puddings but, as you can see, there are three steps down into the chiller cabinets."
"No problem," he says lifting her onto his back. "I'll take you."
He strolls through the chiller cabinets with the old lady on his back. She selects several puddings and puts them in the basket he is carrying for her.
At the other end the old lady's husband is waiting with her wheelchair.
"I'd really like to thank you," says the old lady as he sets her back down in the chair, "but I don't even know who you are!"
He just waves and walks off.
"I was really worried about you," says the old lady's husband. "What have you been doing?"

She replies, "Well, I've been through the desserts on a Norse with no name."

Dump Mr Kitty and marry me immediately.