Cat puns freak meowt.
Seriously, I'm not kitten.
Kitty
Have you appeared to cheer me up?
Why do you need cheering up?
Cause my team is crap and it's raining.
Manchester U's
Dundee U's got a great win
Oh yes, Manchester U's . . . sorry.
I'm in no position to judge, we were leading 2-0 and only drew 2-2.
And it only matters that it's raining if you are getting wet
Dundee double
Dundee U's never win against Hibs, especially at their ground. What a result
It's pretty obvious, that if you run in front of a moving car, you will get tired. But if you run behind it..
..do you just get exhausted ?
You cannot explain Japanese history through puns
But you can samurais it
My wife refuses to go to a nude beach with me.
I think she’s just being clothes-minded.
"I went to see an exciting new band in South Asia..."
"Singapore?"
"Yes but the bassist was good."
"I then took a trip with my wife to Indonesia"
"Jakarta?"
"Nah, she hopped on a plane."
My wife and I have decided we don’t want kids.
If you’re interested, please contact us immediately to arrange dropping them off.
My divorce lawyer asked me how I would like to contact my ex wife...
Through a medium, I said.
My ex wife said she wanted to dance on my grave...
So I asked to be buried at sea.
A man goes to see a wizard and says, "Can you lift a curse that a priest put on me years ago?"
"Maybe," says the wizard, "Can remember the exact words of the curse?" The man replies, "I pronounce you man and wife."
I upset my mother in law on Guy Fawkes night....
I fell off the fire.
My girlfriend is a sxx object - every time I ask for sxx, she objects.
comment by The Pun-isher (U21588)
posted on 28/7/21
I'm not ready to forgive Italy for joining the axis powers.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Is this it?
Went to a bar last night dressed as a tennis ball. I got served right away.
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Pun's Joke Thread
Page 192 of 254
193 | 194 | 195 | 196 | 197
posted on 16/10/21
Cat puns freak meowt.
Seriously, I'm not kitten.
posted on 16/10/21
Kitty
Have you appeared to cheer me up?
posted on 16/10/21
Why do you need cheering up?
posted on 16/10/21
Cause my team is crap and it's raining.
posted on 16/10/21
Which team?
posted on 16/10/21
Manchester U's
Dundee U's got a great win
posted on 16/10/21
Oh yes, Manchester U's . . . sorry.
I'm in no position to judge, we were leading 2-0 and only drew 2-2.
And it only matters that it's raining if you are getting wet
Dundee double
posted on 16/10/21
Dundee U's never win against Hibs, especially at their ground. What a result
posted on 16/10/21
Anyway Kit give us a pun
posted on 16/10/21
Too tired
posted on 16/10/21
It's pretty obvious, that if you run in front of a moving car, you will get tired. But if you run behind it..
..do you just get exhausted ?
posted on 16/10/21
posted on 16/10/21
You cannot explain Japanese history through puns
But you can samurais it
posted on 17/10/21
That's outstanding.
posted on 24/10/21
My wife refuses to go to a nude beach with me.
I think she’s just being clothes-minded.
posted on 31/10/21
"I went to see an exciting new band in South Asia..."
"Singapore?"
"Yes but the bassist was good."
"I then took a trip with my wife to Indonesia"
"Jakarta?"
"Nah, she hopped on a plane."
posted on 31/10/21
My wife and I have decided we don’t want kids.
If you’re interested, please contact us immediately to arrange dropping them off.
posted on 31/10/21
My divorce lawyer asked me how I would like to contact my ex wife...
Through a medium, I said.
posted on 31/10/21
My ex wife said she wanted to dance on my grave...
So I asked to be buried at sea.
posted on 31/10/21
A man goes to see a wizard and says, "Can you lift a curse that a priest put on me years ago?"
"Maybe," says the wizard, "Can remember the exact words of the curse?" The man replies, "I pronounce you man and wife."
posted on 31/10/21
I upset my mother in law on Guy Fawkes night....
I fell off the fire.
posted on 31/10/21
My girlfriend is a sxx object - every time I ask for sxx, she objects.
posted on 31/10/21
posted on 1/11/21
comment by The Pun-isher (U21588)
posted on 28/7/21
I'm not ready to forgive Italy for joining the axis powers.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Is this it?
posted on 3/11/21
Went to a bar last night dressed as a tennis ball. I got served right away.
Page 192 of 254
193 | 194 | 195 | 196 | 197