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That's alright Saint, I'm also already taken. Me and Mr CGG can come on holiday to your place.

Thanks Andy ... did you just apologise to me with thinhgs that other people have given to me already?

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You're married?!

I'm not. I haven't even thought about marrying my girlfriend. I've been with her on and off for more than 10 years but have never asked her.

I am a VERY North London brother.

Second hand presents that you stole from me already are the best kind Andy. And it's so nice to see you've been t'interweb stalking me too.

I'm not married Saint, I don't even live in the same blooming country as him at the moment. I just call him Mr CGG because referring to 'my boyfriend' makes me sound a bit pathetic. I'd like him to be Mr CGG. We're going to be the first Arsenal 606 wedding.

Ten years and you haven't even thought about asking her to marry you?! Has she not mentioned it at any time in those ten years? Is she the mother of your child?

yeah she is.

I don't know I've got relationship issues.

She's english. My kid is beautifully mixed - she's quarter Jamaican and Morrocan and is half English!

8094 nearly there

What relationship issues? Feel free to tell me to mind by own business if I'd overstepping the mark here, I just like to know things. And I give reasonably good advice when my judgement isn't totally clouded by my own lovelife.

Your little girl (yes? ) sounds like a very exotic and beautiful mix.

Awww don't think i have any kids

Whenevera guy says that he doesn't think he has any kids, I always think how unfair it is that he couldn't actually know that for sure. Like, if I had kids, I couldn't fail to notice! The feeling that some random woman could pop up at any time in your life and claim to have had your child must be unsettling.

Well we're more or less married anyways. She uses my second name and lives in my house and everyhing but I just don't like making it official. You can call me weird.

Yeah it's a girl.

Haha I'm joking Clare

I had a scare a while back. The dates fitted. The ultrasound scans being posted on facebook. The 'I'm so excited for you! messages from her friends. The ominous 'single' status in her bio. The patchy memories of that night in the hotel at the company conference.

I removed her as a friend on facebook and haven't heard back since.

It's been a year now.

I think I'm safe.

Saint, you're wierd. You know you get cheaper insurance if you're married? That seems as good a reason as any to pop the question.

Darwin! That's terrible! Would you not just rather know than run away?

I can't believe that Darwin took that milestone with that story. Nice.

OH MY GOD!!!!

You guys missed a milestone!

THERE IS NO RESPECT FOR MILESTONE ANYMORE!!!!!!!!!

"Darwin! That's terrible! Would you not just rather know than run away?"

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I tend to delete them on facebook when I think I might have got them pregnant too. They always seem to change their profile picture to a picture of the kid and I don't want people thinking I am only friends with babies. That would look strange.

Peasant Eowyn!

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Well at least you're honest.

Calling you Daddy Darwin from now on