Pundit time - our turn to judge them

It’s that time of the year again, time for us to cast a fair and unbiased eye over the pundits who adorn our screens to offer their 'expert' opinion on the beautiful game.

MOTD – Does its job, although I do tend to fast-forward through all the talky bits thanks to the wonders of modern technology – cheers Virgin Media!

Gary Lineker - a solid host, despite the dodgy goatee, and he’s a Spurs man too, so he always puts in a good word for us. His quips can get a bit tiresome, but he’s very smooth & has plenty of football knowledge to draw on.

Robbie Savage – Urgh. Urgh. Urgh. Controversial for the sake of being controversial, stupid hair, stupid teeth, irritating voice, rubbish dress sense - urgh!

Dion Dublin – Just a bit nothingy, and as on the fence as Gareth Southgate. Very bland, very safe and very forgettable.

Murphy – I like him. Bit of a monotone voice and dour persona, but knows his stuff and at least tries to offer insight.

Shearer – Mr Say Exactly What You See has got better, but he was starting from a very low base. When listening to Shearer, you do tend to switch off. And that fake smile – creepy or what?

Garth Crooks – Far, far too intense.

Keown – Some people think he’s good, I just think he says stuff in a really intense, garbled way in an attempt to sound intelligent.

Mark Chapman – Steady Eddie, very affable and competent, if a little dull.

Lawro – Way down the pecking order now, thank God. Capable of some biting one liners, but mostly does a fine line in making his face look both miserable and bored.

Ruud Gullit – Decent enough, and the long-running spat between him and Shearer makes things interesting when they appear together.

Phil Neville – Trying too hard to be his brother. Has improved, but his delivery is too slow and he tends to start every sentence with ‘I think’. Very average.

ITV football – Chiles left! Chiles left! Football fans everywhere rejoice. ITV’s football coverage will become almost obsolete from next season with the loss of the Champions League. The Clive and Andy combo will not be mourned.

Lee Dixon – One of the best, it wouldn’t be a surprise to see him snapped up by BT.

Keane – Mr Very Angry went away for an ill-fated spell as Paul Lambert’s assistant, but he’s now back with a vengeance and as bitter, hate-filled and brittle as ever.

Strachan – Canny, on the money, entertaining – always good value.

Townsend – He’s off at the end of the season, our ears are safe again!

Tyldesley – See above.

Gabriel Clarke – See above (again)

BT Sport – Still something a bit naff and amateur about it all. It’s much more professional than Setanta or ESPN ever was, and is clearly here to stay, but it doesn’t really match up to Sky’s offering.

Hargreaves – Bit of a chip on his shoulder, he doesn’t seem to like watching football very much. Way too critical at times.

Macca – The best of a pretty bad bunch. Talks sense and very opinionated.

Michael Owen – Just…there are no words. The people at BT towers must think their viewers are all sadists who want to listen to the most boring man on the planet

David James – Turns up intermittently. Bit of an oddball and doesn’t look like he really wants to be there.

Scholes – Doing the rounds on a few different channels, but mostly on BT. The voice and demeanour – no. The knowledge and lack of hyperbole – yes.

Savage – Enough already! Fletch and Sav – what have we done to deserve this monstrosity? The BT execs really have it in for their viewers, don’t they?

Sky – Still the best when it comes to the whole package. Very slick and watchable, although the amount of hype and controversy they try and create around ‘The Greatest League in the World’ does get tiresome.

Carra – Starting to get on my nerves. Takes himself too seriously and has a voice that does him no favours.

Hoddle – Spurs through and through, decent pundit. His hair is either luxuriant or poncey depending on your point of view.

Neville – Still the best, still better in the studio than he is as a co-commentator. Great insight, great tactical knowledge, still the one you listen to above all the others.

Henry – Cool, calm, collected, suave. Ex-Arsenal, but he’s as annoyingly excellent as a pundit as he was as a player.

Souness – Almost as angry as Keane, his opinions are often way too forthright and over-the-top. Totally no-nonsense, he’s also prone to sensationalism.

Redknapp – Mr Sensationalism himself, he’s regularly outshone by those sitting beside him. Very over-excitable, lacking in substance, and too in love with certain players. No, not for me.

Ed Chamberlain – a consummate professional. Buys into all the hype a little too much, but he’s still a massive upgrade on that slimeball Keys.