Boyata...

What can I say? I am delighted to be a big hitter up front. I'm afraid normid norm may have to do some of the running for both of us though.

CC - are you on Twitter dude?

CocoLeFleur. And I already know.

😉

Ah yes, I see you think I am both retar ded and a 'f---nut', CC. Ta muchly.

You need to reread that, largehat. Different user. 😉

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Trick or Treat brothers...

Well, we've got Vera asking you to 1-star one of my articles. You reply 'with pleasure mate, him and Rowbot are bel lends'.

Then three days later you ask Vera 'check out the exchange between me and largehat. Am I missing something, or is he just reta rded?'

Although now I reread it, the 'fnut' comment WAS about Rowbot.

So we're minus a 'f---nut' and plus a 'be llend'.

So like I said, ta very much.

Thanks. You're welcome. An impression I had at the time. At the moment, you're not too bad.

Breaking news just in from pipersports news. Due to the suspension of Mallorca Trotter and with no known return date it ha been necessary to replace him with Crazy Campo.

However as a mark of respect to the Legend with a Spanish based name it has been decided that his numero quatro shirt will NOT be re-issued and that CC will be given the much coveted number 69 shirt instead. Largehat has been given special permission by Mr N Anelka to don the 39 shirt.

Recent rumours suggest that in order to better prepare for the onslaught of the JA606 Superstars Swansea Manager Brendan Rodgers has hired a new motivational coach called Owen Glendower and that the Liberty Stadium is currently being reinforced by no less than three brigades of the Welsh Guards.

Owen Coyle has responded by providing the trotters with the members of the Black Watch brigade while it's reliably reported that because Gary Cahill is so important to the England Team HRH The Prince of Wales has been bound and gagged by Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II in order to prevent him from interfering in the deployment of Coldstream Guards as dressing room security. A strange individual known only as The Doctor recently appeared in Euxton but the club refuses to comment on allegations that one WS Churchill was seen speaking to the Bolton players in a stirring motivational speech.

Finally, it is this reporter's understanding that there is no truth whatsoever to the rumour that one P Robinson was accidentally pushed out of a plane over a deserted island in the middle of the Pacific OR that one G Steinsson was recently sent on a training run that involved going round his own paren't home five thouand times. They could therefore be back although the vast majority of Boltonians are praying otherwise.

More on all these stories as they break.