The time is the future and Olivier Giroud turns up to London Colney and meets his new team-mates for the first time. Olivier is giddy with excitement. He puts on his Arsenal training gear for the first time and approaches the lads. The first person he greets is Johan Djourou.
OG: Hello there, nice to meet you. I'm Olivier Giroud.
JD: No, I'm Djourou.
OG: I know you're Djourou, I am Giroud also......you see our names are spelt differently yet......
JD: How dare you come here and try to impersonate me! You think you can just waltz in and steal Arsenal Insider from me? You disgust me!
OG: Ehhhh!?
(Marouane Chamakh saunters up)
MC: I've seen a Youtube clip of this guy, he's terrrrrrible. He's just a rubbish me!!!!
(more players gather and start to laugh at Olivier)
OG: Please guys, don't be so hasty to judge me, Youtube clips aren't indicative of what I can do and also I have no idea what Arsenal Insider is.
JD: Oh no he didn't!!!!!!
(Alex Song restrains Djourou)
AS: He's not worth it Johan!
(Arsene Wenger approaches the melee carrying a cardboard cut-out of Robin Van Persie)
AW: Oh woe is me! What a mistake I have made! What do you think Robin?
(Wenger listens intently to what the cut-out is saying to him)
AW: Yeah.....yeah.....yeah. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Did you all hear what Robin our captain who has signed a new life-time contract just said about Giroud?
(Johan Djourou leans forward........Andre Santos nods)
AS: I heard what he said, I definitely heard the cardboard man say something.
AW: He said Olivier Giroud....more like a really smelly poo!
(everyone laughs manically)
AW: Leave this place you horrible dork and never return. Your performances since joining this club have been dreadful!
(Giroud starts to cry)
OG: Just give me a chance, please.
JD: No chances for you, go back to Evian you water bottle drinking nerd!
AW: What a fool! Everyone knows water bottles are to be hurled at the ground.
(Giroud begins to walk away)
AS: My god! He's walking on Diaby's grave, you sick man!!!
(Giroud begins to run now, his arms cartwheeling around the place and snot runs down his face as he cries uncontrollably)
(Five minutes later a car pulls up and out steps Lukaz Podolski. He waves enthusiastically at the players)
MC: BURN THE WITCH!!!!!!!!
Arsenal Welcome Giroud
posted on 19/6/12
My article was similarly knocked up for exactly the same reason, chris.
Though I think a couple of people might've taken it seriously.
posted on 19/6/12
JD: No chances for you, go back to Evian you water bottle drinking nerd!
AW: What a fool! Everyone knows water bottles are to be hurled at the ground.
posted on 19/6/12
My article was similarly knocked up for exactly the same reason, chris.
Though I think a couple of people might've taken it seriously.
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Batmanu's and your own article inspired me to write mine.
It is fun when someone misses the point of an article though and they lose their shizzle.
posted on 19/6/12
I also feel sorry for Olivier. He's such a lovely man, he doesn't deserve this.
Also, why did nobody tell me Diaby died? I just thought he was on Voyager One, like you told me!
posted on 19/6/12
Also, why did nobody tell me Diaby died? I just thought he was on Voyager One, like you told me!
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Some of Diaby's DNA is on Voyager One, the hope is that super advanced aliens will scan his genetic code and find a cure for jelly bones.
Did you miss Diaby's funeral? It was all over the news, Gary Barlow organised a massive concert for him a while back.
posted on 19/6/12
Did you miss Diaby's funeral? It was all over the news, Gary Barlow organised a massive concert for him a while back.
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I do remember Sir Gary being on the tv quite a bit a while ago. I had no idea the occasion was as important as Diaby's funeral though!
posted on 19/6/12
Logged on purely to say
HAHAHAHA LMAO
posted on 19/6/12
I do remember Sir Gary being on the tv quite a bit a while ago. I had no idea the occasion was as important as Diaby's funeral though!
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Elton John is going to be re-re-re-re-releasing Candle in the Wind in tribute to Abou.
Goodbye Arsenal's rose.......
posted on 19/6/12
Diaby is the black Jesus
posted on 19/6/12
Elton John is going to be re-re-re-re-releasing Candle in the Wind in tribute to Abou.
Goodbye Arsenal's rose.......
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So sad!
Diaby is the black Jesus
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Not since he did away with the afro.