Summer Weather brought to you by BWFC

I don't know whether or not you can all survive but just in case the forecast is correct, please send a huge box of Ye Olde Pasty Shop, pasties to Altea on the Costa Blanca, FAO, SUPERWHITEINEXILE.
Further details of address will be given on application.

I intend to breed them and return them to their homeland in better times.

Sorry the Mayor is making an announcement saying he has enacted his emergency and disaster planning powers taking over the running and distribution of all pasties from the pasty mines around Bolton. None left at 5pm due to panic buying.
I fear scenes akin to the Black Pudding uprising of 79 with high causalities from the footballer community

It could be early the first dark clouds arrived this morning with high winds causing several players to run for their lives far away from the club never to play for us again.
A few rays of sunshine did manage to get through limiting damage to the young shoots of spring.

The outlook remains bleak for the rest of the summer.

Shucks!!!! I have a new home prepared and ready to go and now, no pasties. The Ex-pats on the, Costa Blanca, have bought tickets to come and pet them. Many children will be disappointed.

My plans are in ruins.

PG's plans are definitely on track. A non league club, within six years.

News update - Bolton Wanderers can officially announce a new contract for Doris the tea lady after it was revealed that top Irish tea growers Nice-cup-o-tea had signed a deal as principal tea urn sponsors.

Doris was delighted with her new deal telling Tea Drinkers monthly "I'm delighted with my new deal."

Rumours that there's a lucrative biscuit deal in the offering though have been strenuously denied by Chairman Phil Gartside.

Please check your insurance in these inclement times. As storm damage is being encountered.
Underwriters of insurance in many case have citied the small print of 75% and 25% for the scraps salvaged of goods needing replacement in the areas of Gartside Davies and Lennon.
As Lennon is in the under 60 age group classification in the first year of the policy they will only be entitled 25% of any scraps savings while Gartside and Davies will benefit by receiving 75% of scraps savings made by the lost adjusters as a reward as long term policy holders.

For those worst affected the government is offering free training in Liverpool on salvaging from skips and the council owned parks which open on Sundays. Please remember no trains this weekend if you intend to travel to view the big one on Toxteth wreck where the Black Bull play the Slug and Lettuce.

People from the areas of Lever End, Manchester Terrace and the Railway now resident in the new development areas are advised to take out breakdown cover with a reputable Nursing Home and medical facility.