With the example of Milton and Coleridge before me, I am persuaded that the best poetry is composed in sleep. Whilst watching the CSKA match I drifted into the solicitous arms of Morpheus, and was visited by an apparition of Wayne Rooney, his hairline hidden by the laurel that crowned his head. I am in the process of dictating his sage utterances (excepting the "erms") to my amanuensis.
Many of the poems are addressed to Wayne's Dark Lady, the mysterious Colleen. ex. gr.
I am a red,
I once was a blue,
My name is Wayne Rooney
I'm married to you.
Whereas others "tackle" (this droll pun is representative of our bard's wit) events from his illustrious if sometimes infamous career:
Had I not stamped on Carvalho's balls,
In the fading Gelsenkirchen light,
His black and blue balls under dark red cloths
Would have been functional that night,
And I would have kicked a goal with my feet:
But I, being riled, neglected my dreams;
I squashed his testicles under my feet;
In sooth I had trod on my dreams.
Wayne Rooney's Poetry
posted on 23/10/15
comment by Fergies A Jolly Good Fellow (U17074)
posted 9 minutes ago
No more twinkle, fading star...
How I wonder where you are...
Running wild come Saturday...
You used to be our White Pele...
No more twinkle, fading star...
Now accept how bad you are...
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You're a poet and you didn't know it.
posted on 23/10/15
I actually do write the odd poem for the missus Robben, when I'm bored
posted on 23/10/15
comment by Stretford_Ender85 - Schwein on (U10955)
posted 21 minutes ago
They've turned into everything they have hated about us for years.
Irony is lost on them though. They're are just a massive club. Mike Sumerbee says so.
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They are actually worse than us. Much worse
posted on 23/10/15
Well, well, well aren't you a catch!?
Shame you can't tie your shoelaces
posted on 23/10/15
City fans are the most paranoid football fans going. They seem utterly convinced everyone is against them and their is an anti city agenda.
posted on 23/10/15
comment by Stretford_Ender85 - Schwein on (U10955)
posted 12 seconds ago
City fans are the most paranoid football fans going. They seem utterly convinced everyone is against them and their is an anti city agenda.
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UEFA
posted on 23/10/15
There*
posted on 23/10/15
They also think they are a Massive club
Big up tha Middle East Massive!
posted on 23/10/15
comment by Robben #20 - Spirit > Ability (U1145)
posted 22 minutes ago
Well, well, well aren't you a catch!?
Shame you can't tie your shoelaces
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It's alright, I'm well stocked up in my Puma Discs
posted on 23/10/15
City fans are the most paranoid football fans going. They seem utterly convinced everyone is against them and their is an anti city agenda.
That's rich coming from the fans who introduced abu into the modern vernacular
The abu's their against everything the Red Devils stand for at the theatre of dreams.
Yes we are the paranoid ones aren't we