Dermot Desmond & Robbie Keane

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Sachet?

Broon sauce?

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Sachet Broon Cohen?

mate had crabs. other mate tells him to go shop, buy some brown sugar, heat it and rub all over infected area.

"Does that cure it?"

"No, but it rots their teeth"

Guy goes to his DUP loving doctor to get his test results.

'I've bad news Mr Fitzgerald, you have HIV. How do you believe you contracted it?

'Well we recently found out that my boyfriend Gerald has it and we hadn't been using protection in the bedroom. What can I do doctor?'

'Well you could try drinking 10 pints of Guiness and eating a vindaloo for dinner every night for the next 10 days.'

'Will it cure me doc?'

'No but it will teach you what an ersehole is for.'

Guy goes to the doctor to be told he only has 4 minutes to live. Totally shocked he asks the doc if there's anything he can do for him " well" says the doctor " I could bile ye an egg " 😂

A funeral service is held for a woman
who just passed away.
As the pallbearers carry the casket out,
they accidentally bump into a wall.
They hear a faint moan.
They open the casket and
find that the woman is actually alive.
She lives for 10 more years and then dies.
They have another funeral for her.
At the end of the service,
the pallbearers carry out the casket.
As they are walking, the husband cries out,
"Watch out for the wall!"

A gay man's partner dies.

When asked "Do you want the body buried or cremated?" he said "Curried"

"Why?"

"So I can feel him slippin oot ma erse one last time"