Tales from the fridge

Brrrrrevening all a frozen Ken here,

As you are aware it's flipping cold over here but over at the Macron we are doing everything it takes to get warm on the cheap mainly to help out the gas companies who are struggling and mainly to save a few quid on the bills which as we've only just paid the last bill is a masterful idea. I'm just bobbing out of the office a mo as I've felt a twinge of cold - I think Darren and his team are slacking on the bikes.

Ah that's better. Turns out the ground staff were eating up the bicycle energy by heating the pitch with several hairdryers. I've told them to either pack it in till later or get more people peddling.

Parky and the lads are I'm told safely enclosed in the training dome though an errant David Wheater clearance nearly tore a hole in the roof. They are still in there 2 hours after training is over which is either brilliant work from the team or the door is broken again. I'd ask Darren to investigate but I need the power here.

Right I've decided to bob off as things have cleared a little so it's all hands to the pump to get the pitch sorted. Sadly several hairdryers have broken in the effort so I've put out a call to all fans knocking about with hairdriers to bob along and help out. With that I've instructed Darren to open a turnstile and collect an entrance fee of £10. Doreen is also opening a pop up club shop just inside with branded warm weather clothing. Sadly it's too soon for our David Wheater "Wheats from the East" branded windcheaters and toasty gloves - they should however, be ready for the Preston game at a bargain £25 each.

As I'm trekking to my transport I spot Darren in the car park in conversation with a snowman. I overhear the words "Why are you not flying?" That kid watches far too much Christmas TV for his own good. I mutter something about turnstiles and job and coming out of your wage and he sort of gets the gist and moves on.

Oh and before anyone asks we will not be registering the snowman as a player to play up front for Saturday either. 1 it's a silly idea, and 2 Phil apparently has tried this before and the FA has vetoed the idea. Also 3 it's not a very big snowman and therefore not what we are after.

Cheers easy,

Ken.