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Brexit is a Piece of Cake

Literally...

LEAVER: I want an omelette.

REMAINER: Right. It’s just we haven’t got any eggs.

LEAVER: Yes, we have. There they are. [HE POINTS AT A CAKE]

REMAINER: They’re in the cake.

LEAVER: Yes, get them out of the cake, please.

REMAINER: But we voted in 1974 to put them into a cake.

LEAVER: Yes, but that cake has got icing on it. Nobody said there was going to be icing on it.

REMAINER: Icing is good.

LEAVER: And there are raisins in it. I don’t like raisins. Nobody mentioned raisins. I demand another vote.

DAVID CAMERON ENTERS.

DAVID CAMERON: OK.

DAVID CAMERON SCARPERS.

LEAVER: Right, where’s my omelette?

REMAINER: I told you, the eggs are in the cake.

LEAVER: Well, get them out.

EU: It’s our cake.

JEREMY CORBYN: Yes, get them out now.

REMAINER: I have absolutely no idea how to get them out. Don’t you know how to get them out?

LEAVER: Yes! You just get them out and then you make an omelette.

REMAINER: But how?! Didn’t you give this any thought?

LEAVER: Saboteur! You’re talking eggs down. We could make omelettes before the eggs went into the cake, so there’s no reason why we can’t make them now.

THERESA MAY: It’s OK, I can do it.

REMAINER: How?

THERESA MAY: There was a vote to remove the eggs from the cake, and so the eggs will be removed from the cake.

REMAINER: Yeah, but…

LEAVER: Hang on, if we take the eggs out of the cake, does that mean we don’t have any cake? I didn’t say I didn’t want the cake, just the bits I don’t like.

EU: It’s our cake.

REMAINER: But you can’t take the eggs out of the cake and then still have a cake.

LEAVER: You can. I saw the latest Bake Off and you can definitely make cakes without eggs in them. It’s just that they’re horrible.

REMAINER: Fine. Take the eggs out. See what happens.

LEAVER: It’s not my responsibility to take the eggs out. Get on with it.

REMAINER: Why should I have to come up with some long-winded incredibly difficult chemical process to extract eggs that have bonded at the molecular level to the cake, while somehow still having the cake?

LEAVER: You lost, get over it.

THERESA MAY: By the way, I’ve started the clock on this.

REMAINER: So I assume you have a plan?

THERESA MAY: Actually, back in a bit. Just having another election.

REMAINER: Jeremy, are you going to sort this out?

JEREMY CORBYN: Yes. No. Maybe.

EU: It’s our cake.

LEAVER: Where’s my omelette? I voted for an omelette.

REMAINER: This is ridiculous. This is never going to work. We should have another vote, or at least stop what we’re doing until we know how to get the eggs out of the cake while keeping the bits of the cake that we all like.

LEAVER/MAY/CORBYN: WE HAD A VOTE. STOP SABOTAGING THE WILL OF THE PEOPLE. EGGSIT MEANS EGGSIT.

REMAINER: Fine, I’m moving to France. The cakes are nicer there.

LEAVER: You can’t. We’ve taken your freedom of movement.


I take no credit for this. Just a copy and paste

posted on 27/10/18

"Thought of teaching ages ago, but my degree is politics major- history minor and I would have to re-sit to go. to teacher training and could not afford it.

Plus mate, I am a shy guy and not confident talking in front of people....would rather fight Tyson than talk in front of a class😊

You are spot on about compromise though in politics and life....if we live under Trump, May, brexit, EU, Sinn Fein, tories, Corbyn, we still have to make the best of each day, and get along."

Aye mate👍👏

comment by Silver (U6112)

posted on 28/10/18

Tbbab, you don’t seem shy on here?

Sometimes you need help to overcome though I suspect you know that and are ok with who you are? Not naturally gregarious myself but can act well when I need to.

All sorts on here and our online persona is not necessarily who we are.

posted on 28/10/18

comment by Silver (U6112)
posted 12 minutes ago
Tbbab, you don’t seem shy on here?

Sometimes you need help to overcome though I suspect you know that and are ok with who you are? Not naturally gregarious myself but can act well when I need to.

All sorts on here and our online persona is not necessarily who we are.
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Yeah I’m a total wild child

comment by Dave (U11711)

posted on 28/10/18

I thought all the cake talk was about LGBTQIA equality rights, not Brexit, right?

In regards to the OP, in my infinite wisdom, I have been pondering on how to resolve the Brexit conundrum. Lo and behold, an epiphany struck me right in the Frontal and Parietal lobes whilst sipping on my breakfast martini

Europe has a cake.

Brexiters want an omelette.

Solution to keep everyone happy?

A frittata!

posted on 28/10/18

comment by Call Sign: Invictus (U3627)
posted 7 hours, 52 minutes ago
comment by Silver (U6112)
posted 12 minutes ago
Tbbab, you don’t seem shy on here?

Sometimes you need help to overcome though I suspect you know that and are ok with who you are? Not naturally gregarious myself but can act well when I need to.

All sorts on here and our online persona is not necessarily who we are.
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Yeah I’m a total wild child
----------------------------------------------------------------------
I’ve not actually had secks with that many guys.

posted on 28/10/18

Very good. Makes as much sense as BREXIT too.

comment by Dave (U11711)

posted on 30/10/18

comment by Dave NotSo (U11711)
posted 2 days, 6 hours ago
I thought all the cake talk was about LGBTQIA equality rights, not Brexit, right?

In regards to the OP, in my infinite wisdom, I have been pondering on how to resolve the Brexit conundrum. Lo and behold, an epiphany struck me right in the Frontal and Parietal lobes whilst sipping on my breakfast martini

Europe has a cake.

Brexiters want an omelette.

Solution to keep everyone happy?

A frittata!

----------------------------------------------------------------------
TBAB! WTF man? I thought you'd be stoked to have a Brexit solution but you've blanked me.

posted on 30/10/18

comment by Dave NotSo (U11711)
posted 5 hours, 57 minutes ago
comment by Dave NotSo (U11711)
posted 2 days, 6 hours ago
I thought all the cake talk was about LGBTQIA equality rights, not Brexit, right?

In regards to the OP, in my infinite wisdom, I have been pondering on how to resolve the Brexit conundrum. Lo and behold, an epiphany struck me right in the Frontal and Parietal lobes whilst sipping on my breakfast martini

Europe has a cake.

Brexiters want an omelette.

Solution to keep everyone happy?

A frittata!

----------------------------------------------------------------------
TBAB! WTF man? I thought you'd be stoked to have a Brexit solution but you've blanked me.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Sorry bro😀

Yea, cake is cool....just let me eat dat😜

Brexit is a quandary, wrapped in an enigma, under a riddle.........and just behind a puzzle.....no, no a little more to the left.....that's it, just there, in the dead star locked in a black hole👍

Simples.😵

posted on 30/10/18

comment by Silver (U6112)
posted 2 days, 15 hours ago
Tbbab, you don’t seem shy on here?

Sometimes you need help to overcome though I suspect you know that and are ok with who you are? Not naturally gregarious myself but can act well when I need to.

All sorts on here and our online persona is not necessarily who we are.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Billy big balls via the written word or in a ruck......but put me in front of folk to talk, and I melt😟

Bleeding nightmare tbh......not near as bad as younger days, but still overly self-conscious.

A curse💀

posted on 30/10/18

comment by The Duke (U10059)
posted 3 days, 17 hours ago
comment by thebluebellsareblue (U9292)
posted 22 minutes ago
See if Ulster gets special backstop status, will you Scot remainers be beelin?

I would.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
I won’t care as it won’t affect me
I just hope the Irish dilemma gets a conclusion that works for all on the island
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Loyalists want to live and let live, as do most republicans.

Nae cant wants a hardborder, and what rips ma knitten is whankers who cared nothing for any of us in Ireland/Ulster suddenly develop a real keen interest in our borders, lives and future.

Spent months down south this past year,,going running in Rangers and NI tops from Cork to Donegal and the people are the best on earth....no hassle, just people.

Twenty five years since today since U ff murder at Greysteel pub after Shankil bomb and I remember it well as I was over in Glasgow for a Rangers game, meeting a mate at Strathclyde uni and it was nice to drink in peace with no fear of a shooting as we were all on edge in Belfast 93.

Peace🙏

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