Merseyside police statement

Merseyside police have released the following statement

“Tonight we were disappointed to hear of yet another Covid19 infraction by Liverpool football club.

As many of you are aware we first had to deal with their attempts to cheat the UK tax payer so they could furlough Doris the tea lady on £200/ week only to magically find £20m to bring extra Covid19 from Munich

We also dealt with their public criticism of our mayor who had claimed should they win the league they will flout lockdown laws and gather en masse. They assured us this would not happen and yet it did leading to a major spike and enhanced lockdowns for our city.

Today we fielded thousands of calls from concerned evertonians who informed us that, and I quote, “the neighbours have let 7 in, how do I report this?

Given this is their third strike we have no other choice but to apply to the UK Government that Liverpool FC be banned from sporting participation pending further investigation into their behavior in the year 2020.

We have been advised by FIFA that all trophies won during this time will be revoked and as such we appeal to the people of Liverpool to remain calm at this time"