Handy Guide To: Brighton HFC

As I wandered the lonely tinternet superhighway, searching desperately for an upside to our current form, I found we are due to play tomorrow night against some team called “Brighton and Hove Albion" in a competitive Championship fixture. Never having heard of this footballing backwater, I have scoured t’web for any further enlightening details on our visitors to Pride Park: The Home Of Football so that you may amaze your friends with knowledge of the lowly Southern outfit.

Here we are then:

Brighton & Hove Albion FC was formed in 1901, some 17 years after the birth of football. It is widely accepted this was less to do with sport and more to do with seeing 22 men running about in little outfits.

As “The Albion" was already taken as a nickname, Brighton have never really had a proper nickname. “Dolphins" became popular in the mid-Seventies, however there was an incident in a pub with their arch-rivals Crystal Palace and, in response to the Palace fans’ chants of “Eagles! Eagles!" both Brighton fans, in unison, began chanting “Seagulls! Seagulls!" and the name stuck.

Brighton now play their home fixtures in the modern Falmer Stadium, capacity 22,374, having finally taken owenership of this purpose-built facility in May of this year. In wide-eyed wonderment at somehow playing at this level, most of their Championship fixtures to date have been quite near this capacity.

Brian Clough, football legend, famously took a working holiday on the South coast after leaving a proper club. His unremarkable tenure there lasted less than a year whereafter he popped up to Leeds for a month before quietly slipping into football obscurity. Peter Taylor took over the Brighton reins until 1976, did nothing for a few years and then finally realised his dream of returning to a famous club in 1982.

Craig Mackail-Smith won League One’s Player Of The Season award last season, and has represented England at C level, and is a full Scotland International. All of these levels are pretty-much the same thing.

Brighton & Hove Albion FC Honours List:

Gus Poyet, ex-Chelsea player and Luis Suarez racism apologist, is the current Brighton manager.

Brighton is known as “London By The Sea" because it’s near the sea. It has a pier, and used to have another until arsonists decided to help it into oblivion. It is also the site of the Grand Hotel, famously bombed by the Irish Republican Army in 1984. Convicted bomber Patrick Magee was freed in 1999 under the Good Friday Agreement after serving 14 years for the bombing which claimed 5 lives and devastated many others, not least because it caused Maggie Thatcher’s popularity soar after her Churchillian response to the atrocity.

Famous fans of the club include Norman Cook, celebrity husband of the hideously untalented Zoe Ball, Michael “Storm? What Storm?" Fish and housewives’ favourite, tv smoothy Des Lynam.

As with all that is bad with modern football, the naming rights for the stadium were sold to American Express, who are the largest employers in the town. Offically the “American Express Community Stadium", the “Amex" hosted it’s first league match against Donny Rovers, with Brighton running out 2-1 victors.

Brighton won their last league fixture by the same scoreline, defeating relegation rivals Coventry. Brighton flattered to deceive earlier this season and then have slumped horribly since, or what is fast becoming known in football circles as “did a Derby". The form guide has them in 19th place (we’re 22nd) and they are 11th in the league as we sit in 15th… it’ll either be a classic or a war of attrition!

This is all the information tinternet has on Tuesday’s opponents.. there’s not much I admit, but the worldwideweb doesn’t get into Brighton much, except for dodgy webcasts and things that no right-minded fan needs to see, ever.