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Dave Pundit's Predictions

Hi, I'm Dave Pundit. The thorny issue of goal-line technology has once again reared its head and I for one am thoroughly against it. The only thing that should break up the flow of the game is dangerous tackles and arguments with the ref. Now I know Sepp Blatter is a corrupt Belgian bureaucrat but don't forget he also said that women footballers should wear séxier clothes to get more people to watch the game so he does know what he's talking about football-wise. Anyway there are no Premier League games this week so all my predictions are for the FA cup games.

Everton v Sunderland
Ah the FA Cup, literally the greatest cup competition in the world. Second only to the World Cup in my eyes. And maybe the Carling Cup if Liverpool don't win it, but what are the chances of that happening? Anyway as far as this game goes I think only a really, really good team could beat Everton, especially 3-0. And I'm not sure Sunderland are good enough.
Verdict: 1-1

Fulham v Swansea
It's the FA Cup, for God's sake. Now I don't know what FA stands for but it certainly doesn't mean Welsh Clubs Welcome does it? Fulham will win this one but I can't see them taking much pride from beating a Welsh team in an English club competition can you?
Verdict: 2-0

Wigan v West Brom
More foreign teams ruining the glory of the FA Cup. Quite frankly it's just a shame they can't both lose. In my day cup ties were fierce battles fought to the death, whereas with these teams I can't imagine any of them being willing to die for the cause. Though I wish they all would.
Verdict: 2-2

Tottenham v Bolton
Now this is more like it. What could be more English than the England manager going head to head with whoever the Bolton manager is nowadays? Tottenham's form has been shocking recently but if you’re not up for the cup then you don't to deserve to be called a footballer. FA Cup games need to be taken seriously, that's why I had a 'no spirits' rule the night before a cup match. It was strictly beers and liqueur coffees for me.
Verdict: 2-1

Wolves v Man Utd
Man Utd may have crashed out of the Europa League but I can see them going all the way in the FA Cup. In fact I made a large bet with Steve Claridge that they'd go all the way this season. I'll show that smug little idiot. Wolves on the other hand will go out here. Terry Connor was good one Take Your Pick but the FA Cup is a whole different kettle of fish.
Verdict: 0-3

Chelsea v Leicester
Now this is what the FA Cup is all about: John Terry. He showed his managerial skills against Napoli and now he can lord it over lowly Leicester too. John Terry is as English as the FA Cup itself and the FA Cup is as English as Jerusalem and Jerusalem is as English as the royal family which is as English as Great Britain itself. God Save John Terry.
Verdict: 4-0

Liverpool v Stoke
After two weeks where Liverpool didn't play at all for some reason they showed no signs of rust when Steven Gerrard single handedly destroyed Everton. Jamie Carragher has said that Stevie G is the greatest player to ever play for Liverpool and I agree, he's the white Messi, in fact he's better because Stevie will be able to do it against Stoke.
Verdict: 3-1

Newcastle v Norwich
Both these teams would love to get their hands on the cup, of course they'd have to graft an extra handle on for Norwich to do that. But to be honest I can't see Norwich beating Newcastle here, Norwich fans are all in-bred weirdos whereas I don't think there's ever been a Geordie who wasn't as normal as normal could be. And I think they deserve to see their team do well even if they don't go all the way in the cup.
Verdict: 2-1

posted on 19/3/12

JJG

posted on 19/3/12

JJG doesn't do smileys

comment by ncgandy (U3075)

posted on 19/3/12

'I am always baffled as to why people expect originality from Dave Pundit but don't demand it from actual pundits?'

Who said we don't?

Good to see Dave's mum defending his shortcomings as always.

comment by TCW (U6489)

posted on 23/3/12

I'd like to see someone else do better to be honest... Give it a go, you'd probably shut it then.

comment by ncgandy (U3075)

posted on 23/3/12

What do you like to see when you're not being honest?

Hold that, I don't think I want to know.

comment by TCW (U6489)

posted on 23/3/12

Here's your coat

posted on 23/3/12

keep up the good work - if anyone thinks that they can do better...


...bring it on.

comment by ncgandy (U3075)

posted on 23/3/12

Spot on cliché man.

comment by TCW (U6489)

posted on 23/3/12

How do you think that a cliché becomes a cliché?

comment by ncgandy (U3075)

posted on 23/3/12

Natural selection? How the feck would I know? I'm from Norwich.

He seemed genuine though, people like what they like. It's why people like Eastenders. Something for everyone, no matter how banal.

It really should be 'Bela Lugosi's Dad' though. Don't know where the extra 's' came from. Good job they don't charge by the letter.

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