Would you mind if I asked how old you are?
To me its a bit too imature in its construction, its written more like a fans perspective rather than a writers prose.
Read the football correspondence articles on matches in the times and independent and stay clear of the red tops. All in all not a bad start
Thats was my opinion too GB, hence why I asked age. A good read but I felt it was written by a youngster, sorry if wrong!!
Thanks for the feedback and it's my first ever report so hopefully I'll improve.
Cobnob (U12084) - You couldn't be more correct. I am 16 and as I gain experience, hopefully that won't be so obvious in the future. Thanks for your comments!
Really good then mate, to be honest, well done.
Cheers, it's appreciated .
comment by Got_Better (U6241)
Thanks for the feedback but believe me, I don't read the red tops! I'll keep that in mind for future reports
On GB's point, I don't think the criticism is fair TBH. The website is sort of fan based and have the right to be a bit biased.
Read match report on official website and how it is..
Having said that there are still lines that are too biased to be in a match report
honestlivpool_five_times
Aha, I think a bit of bias was acceptable due to it being a Liverpool website but I think the line:
''A tricky run from exciting winger Jordan Ibe was ended by what seemed to be a blatant push, barge and penalty by defender Hughes.'' might've been too much
Yes
And the paragraph above that as well..
You should be commended on trying to est yourself as a writer of distinction and someone capable of accepting negativity.
So......well done and no mugging old ladies...again
I like people who sit back and try to write a good article on their team. Makes a change from the silly WUM articles we often see on JA606.
I liked it and basically the idea is to put your own stamp on your style so I can't offer any advice on changing what you have written.
Good work fella!
You will develop your own style the more you write. One little tip - if for instance you are reporting more than one penalty, try and think of other ways of saying it, eg spot-kick, scoring from the spot etc.
Well done, I think it's a nice piece of writing and I certainly couldn't have done that when I was your age.
Taken on board. .
Cheers guys!
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Match report of the reserves today.
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posted on 3/9/12
Would you mind if I asked how old you are?
posted on 3/9/12
To me its a bit too imature in its construction, its written more like a fans perspective rather than a writers prose.
Read the football correspondence articles on matches in the times and independent and stay clear of the red tops. All in all not a bad start
posted on 3/9/12
Thats was my opinion too GB, hence why I asked age. A good read but I felt it was written by a youngster, sorry if wrong!!
posted on 3/9/12
Thanks for the feedback and it's my first ever report so hopefully I'll improve.
Cobnob (U12084) - You couldn't be more correct. I am 16 and as I gain experience, hopefully that won't be so obvious in the future. Thanks for your comments!
posted on 3/9/12
Really good then mate, to be honest, well done.
posted on 3/9/12
Cheers, it's appreciated .
posted on 3/9/12
comment by Got_Better (U6241)
Thanks for the feedback but believe me, I don't read the red tops! I'll keep that in mind for future reports
posted on 3/9/12
On GB's point, I don't think the criticism is fair TBH. The website is sort of fan based and have the right to be a bit biased.
Read match report on official website and how it is..
posted on 3/9/12
Having said that there are still lines that are too biased to be in a match report
honestlivpool_five_times
posted on 3/9/12
Aha, I think a bit of bias was acceptable due to it being a Liverpool website but I think the line:
''A tricky run from exciting winger Jordan Ibe was ended by what seemed to be a blatant push, barge and penalty by defender Hughes.'' might've been too much
posted on 3/9/12
Yes
And the paragraph above that as well..
posted on 3/9/12
posted on 3/9/12
You should be commended on trying to est yourself as a writer of distinction and someone capable of accepting negativity.
So......well done and no mugging old ladies...again
posted on 3/9/12
I like people who sit back and try to write a good article on their team. Makes a change from the silly WUM articles we often see on JA606.
I liked it and basically the idea is to put your own stamp on your style so I can't offer any advice on changing what you have written.
Good work fella!
posted on 4/9/12
You will develop your own style the more you write. One little tip - if for instance you are reporting more than one penalty, try and think of other ways of saying it, eg spot-kick, scoring from the spot etc.
Well done, I think it's a nice piece of writing and I certainly couldn't have done that when I was your age.
posted on 4/9/12
Taken on board. .
Cheers guys!
Page 1 of 1