Brilliant, Mark. My mate and your woman have just gone off to fack each other. What are we gonna do now? Go and make a tent in the living room and eat Dairylea? Is that what you want? 'Cause that's what's gonna happen.

United offered £2.6m for Unnerstall, I asked for £3.5 and they accepted. Bit surprising and was happy enough with him but it's a good deal. Only got Timo now though.

Most of my targets are too expensive so looked at cheaper options, found Giefer and Kapino to be the best options. Giefer has recently joined Fortuna though, so will try to go for Kapino.

Looked like there would be BS, usual ridiculous scoreline but stayed strong to win 4-3 at Hannover on the opening day. Ya Konan gave them the lead with their first shot but Farfan equalised and Huntelaar put us ahead. They were offering nothing but in the second half Ya Konan danced through and scored their second goal with their second shot. Hildebrand then backpedalled to keep out Ya Konan's chip but only palmed it to Schlaudraff. Four shots, three goals. Huntelaar eventually pulled it back by poking in Farfan's low cross and then completed his hat-trick, heading in the rebound from Pukki's saved shot.

So annoying how they didn't offer much going forward but still score three.

Panathinaikos wanted £4.1m for Kapino suddenly. That's a no-go. Looked at Horn, Velthuizen but in the end went for Sinan Bolat because I could get him for £1.1m because of his contract. Looks decent. Think I remember him playing well for Liege against Arsenal in the CL once.

Bolat with some good saves on his debut but got done by Celtic in the first CL group match, they outplayed us. Stokes with a great opener, Huntelaar equalises, pretty lucky rebound goals for Brown to win a header and especially Hooper, but they had more chances.

HT against Furth. They've had 4 shots. They've scored 3 goals. Okay.

Went 4-0 down, tried to make a sub, got pause freeze. Well facking played EA. Well facking played.

STOP PAUSING IT

4-0 down to Furth

Cannot believe how facked it is. This is the only game I can think of where pausing causes a glitch. Joke.

Lul Twente again, batter em but concede 3 goals from 4 shots. Losing 3-1, rage quit. Off I go for another week or two.

It is so annoying how clinical literally every opposition team is.

Bumped up my Bournemouth career mode to World Class in my third season in the Premier and currently 6th after 6 games. Got a really good squad though and a settled first XI.

Jack Butland
Elliot Hewitt
Jeffrey Gouweleeuw
Mark Beevers
Chris Hussey
Scott Allan (great player)
James McCarthy
Koke
Josh McQuoid
Gary Hooper
Flamur Kastrati

Bench from -
Ben Amos
Aiden White
Ryan Cook
Reece Brown
Franco Zuculini
Brice Ntambwe
Eunan O'Kane
Harry Arter
Simone Verdi
Charlie Austin
Diego Fagundez

Good side! Allan is a brilliant player, plays centrally in my midfield 3 and dictates play brilliantly, with Koke being the creative spark in the team. Ntambwe is a monster, so fast and strong, bit like Yaya Toure and I use him instead of Koke/McCarthy in some games, depending on the opposition and Charlie Austin has proven a great goal scorer for me when called upon.

Signed Verdi in my most recent window and he hasn't been too good yet. Might try and play him on the left, sub Kastrati off at some point.

Get Max Meyer

Going through another period where I can't stop conceding goals. Since 14th of Jan to now(4th March)I've kept two clean sheets, bear in mind that's in about 10-12 matches or something

Had a thriller against Arsenal in the FA Cup, 3-3 first time round before sneaking it in the replay 2-1.

Get better players.

My defence is already excellent. On paper I'm 2023's answer to Barcelona(or Bayern(?)), which makes it more annoying.

Then start defending better.

FIFA 13: too many facking goals.

I always blame the players

I always blame EA because they are to blame

I normally tend to keep a clean sheet these days, very rarely concede but I've got defending on this game totally sussed.

It's the attacking where I sometimes struggle!!

Won a game 4-3 the other day though haha. Two last minute goals from Austin and Koke.

I can't stand it. Every team is ridiculously clinical. With a 73 rated keeper, 76 RB, 84 and 79 CBs and 76 LB (I think) I conceded 4 goals to the worst team in the league with their first four shots. It was actually a pretty even game. Are you facking kidding

What difficulty are you on?

World class. I think I've just about given up on career mode unfortunately. I'm not playing a game where you can't pause.