Probably with cash or straight from your bank account

Don't know, might be quite good to throw 20k at them if they got a decent fa cup draw, provided you were literally drowning in money

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How much would you pay to play 10 minutes for United?

If I won the lottery, I'd be willing to pay quite a lot, as long as I got to play in my preferred position of Goal Hanger.

RR, I'm not sure you're allowed to 'turn offsides off' like in Fifa

Jayne and Robin

For a £250,000 fee (plus donations to the favourite charities of the match officials) I'm expecting not just a relaxed interpretations of offside rules, but compliant defenders and a goal which splits open like Diana Ross' penalty in the 1994 WC ceremony. I'm going to play for United and I'm going to score the fastest hat-trick in a CL group stage dead rubber ever!

...Now I read that back, I realise this is an exact echo of the fantasy I had when I was seven, except then I didn't think I'd have to bribe everyone to realise it.

For that kind of money you afford to sign Taibi for the opposition too!

It does show a remarkably lack of ambition in a 7 year old that you chose a CL dead rubber, as opposed to the CL final, or even the world cup final.

What happens if you come on for the last 10 mins of a cup tie that then goes into extra time? Do you come off and make them play extra time with 10 men? Or do you continue and finish the game, only to find that at full time the club account comes and issues you with a bill for another £60,000 on top of the £20,000 you've already forked out?

What happens if you start playing, and you're the best player on the pitch

Jayne and Robin:

OK, that particular detail didn't feature in my 7 year-old fantasy. For a start, the CL and its group stages hadn't been invented. Secondly, the notion of United qualifying for the European Cup was too fanciful even for a child's daydreams. For me it was all about the FA Cup final, and not so much playing in it as myself, but actually becoming Bryan Robson.

Barf Vader:

Good point. I will have my people go over such contractual ambiguities before I commit to this, if I win the lottery.

I had one where all of our keepers had fallen ill, and we only had Schmeichel, but he got injured. So they asked people in the crowd who could play in goals, and I got picked.

What happens if you start playing, and you're the best player on the pitch

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In the eventuality that they wanted to keep you playing (which in my own case I find quite plausible), I guess they would have to hastily draw up a contract pitch-side, waiving further fees and possibly offering to pay for your services. It might have to cover image rights as well.

Jayne and Robin, are you sure you're not projecting last year's Mars advert as a memory?

I don't think I've watched anything on a tv for the last 3 or 4 years

Maybe Mars modelled their adverts on me!

Good deal but 20k?

exactly 20k is a lot of money

20k is a lot of money

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'a lot of money' is relative. It may be a lot to you, but it isn't a lot to me, assuming I win the Euromillions.

As far as money is concerned, I'm set for life.

Provided I die next Tuesday.

If everyone here pitches in, I'll play

The Diva™ - Sir Alex "Everyone, get behind our new best poster, Pride" (U6852) posted 1 hour, 23 minutes ago
Probably with cash or straight from your bank account

exactly what i thought


i have often wondered if i won the euro millions then woule liverpool give me 5 mins in a game that was already won by the 80th minute for a few million quid

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