Can I ask that everyone refrain from making musical puns

Why shouldn’t you let kids watch big band performances on TV? Too much sax and violins.

A musician told me he was going to hit me with the neck of his guitar. I replied, “Is that a fret?”

Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn’t even leave a note.

If I were a Chelsea or Forest fan I might make a CHO pun instead.

Oh yes

Shame they didn't loan him to PSV Beethoven

My pet mouse, Elvis, has died.He was caught in a trap.

comment by bestoftherest2021 (U22523)
posted 1 minute ago
My pet mouse, Elvis, has died.He was caught in a trap.
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Are you all shook up?

I went to the DVD rental shop and asked if I could have Batman Forever. The guy said, “No, just 24 hours like the others.”

comment by Pun (U21588)
posted 9 minutes ago
I went to the DVD rental shop and asked if I could have Batman Forever. The guy said, “No, just 24 hours like the others.”
----------------------------------------------------------------------
what's a dvd rental shop?

comment by Don Draper's dandruff (U20155)
posted 29 seconds ago
comment by Pun (U21588)
posted 9 minutes ago
I went to the DVD rental shop and asked if I could have Batman Forever. The guy said, “No, just 24 hours like the others.”
----------------------------------------------------------------------
what's a dvd rental shop?
----------------------------------------------------------------------
a shop where you rent DVDs

comment by whodunnit (U22710)
posted 37 seconds ago
comment by Don Draper's dandruff (U20155)
posted 29 seconds ago
comment by Pun (U21588)
posted 9 minutes ago
I went to the DVD rental shop and asked if I could have Batman Forever. The guy said, “No, just 24 hours like the others.”
----------------------------------------------------------------------
what's a dvd rental shop?
----------------------------------------------------------------------
a shop where you rent DVDs
----------------------------------------------------------------------

As the coffin was being lowered into the ground at a Traffic Warden's funeral,
a voice from inside screams: "I'm not dead, I'm not dead. Let me out!"

The Vicar smiles, leans forward sucking air through his teeth and mutters: "Too late pal, I've already done the paperwork."

As we landed in Saudi Arabia the pilot announced "Ladies and Gentlemen don't forget to adjust your watches to local time"
I thought to myself how do I turn it back to the 7th century?

Chocolate bar prices have really gone up. I bought a Mars bar, a Milky Way, and a Galaxy, and they were astronomical.

When I was a child a police officer came to school and gave a speech on drugs.
I couldn't understand a damn thing he said.

Twenty years ago, my friend made a website where you compare getting high from different drugs.

It was the original trip advisor

Got me Christmas decorations up.

Up in the facking loft, just where they belong in Nov.

Hear, hear

Punster, divok got to go.

I’m out unless he’s gone by the start of the next game week.

Man's brought the game into disrepute.

I went to Cash Converters today trying to raise some much needed cash for Christmas.

They gave me 3200 and they never even took the gun.

We'll all miss Grandma this Xmas but I know she'll be looking down on us.

Waiting for the stair lift repair man.

Our local take away are doing a Christmas menu featuring a range of Reindeer kebabs!

I've Just ordered a Donner.