TOOR
Probably the best episode of the lot.
Basil.
"Well, what do you expect to see out of a Torquay Hotel bedroom window, herds of Wildebeast sweeping majestically across the plain.
Mrs Richards.
"I expect to see the sea'
Basil.
"It is over there in betwen the land and the sky."
Turn it on!
What?
Turn it on!
When he mimes speaking so she turns up her hearing aid and then yells down it
comment by Wincollgooner - Have we signed someone? (U1342)
posted 2 minutes ago
B: Manuel! You. Know. Nothing.
M: You always say that, Mr Fawlty but I learn!
B: What?
M: I learn I learn! I get better!
B: No no no, you don't understand.
M: I do! I do understand! I learn!
---------------------------------------------------
i thought I was gonna send my wife to hospital when she watched that scene. She just couldn't stop.
comment by Wincollgooner - Have we signed someone? (U1342)
posted 12 seconds ago
When he mimes speaking so she turns up her hearing aid and then yells down it
-------------------------------------------------
sssssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhh
dont mention the war!
Just found the whole Mrs Richards one.
Mrs. Richards: Now listen to me. I booked a room with a bath. When I book a room with a bath I expect to get a bath.
Basil: (confused) You've got a bath.
Mrs. Richards: I'm not paying Seven Pounds Twenty Pence per night plus VAT for a room without a bath.
Basil: [goes into the bathroom] There is your bath.
Mrs. Richards: You call that a bath? It's not big enough to drown a mouse. It's disgraceful...
Basil: [quietly] I wish you were a mouse, I'd show you...
Mrs. Richards: And another thing. I booked a room with a view.
Basil: [quietly to Manuel] Deaf, mad and blind. [Goes to the window] Yes, this is the view as I remember it, yes, yes, this is it.
Mrs. Richards: When I pay for a room with a view, I expect something more interesting than that.
Basil: That is Torquay madam.
Mrs. Richards: Well it's not good enough.
Basil: Well, may I ask what you expected to see out of a Torquay hotel bedroom window? Sydney Opera House, perhaps? The Hanging Gardens of Babylon? Herds of wildebeest sweeping majestically...?
Mrs. Richards: Don't be silly. I expect to be able to see the sea.
Basil: You can see the sea. It's over there between the land and the sky.
Mrs. Richards: I'd need a telescope to see that.
Basil: Well, then, may I suggest you move to a hotel nearer the sea? [mutters] Or preferably in it.
Mrs Richards: What?
Basil: Nothing.
Mrs Richards: Anyway, listen. I am not satisfied. Nevertheless, I have decided to stay. But I shall expect a reduction.
Basil: Why, because Krakatoa's not erupting at the moment?
Mrs Richards: Because the room is cold, the bath is too small, the view is invisible and the radio doesn't work.
Basil: No, the radio works. [mutters] You don't.
Mrs Richards: What?
Basil: I'll see if I can fix it [mutters] you scabby old bat. (walks over to the radio and turns it up loud)
[Basil is mouthing words to Mrs. Richards, so she is forced to turn up her hearing aid as high as it will go]
Sybil Fawlty: [quietly] Basil, don't! Don't!
[Basil is still mouthing words]
Mrs. Richards: Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. I haven't got it turned up enough.
Sybil Fawlty: [shouting] Basil!
Basil Fawlty: [at full volume now, right into Mrs. Richards' face] I SAID... WE SHOULD GO...!
Mrs. Richards: [jumps back with a shock, hitting her head on the shelf] Oh! Oh, my head! My head!
Basil Fawlty: Has it come away?
Mrs. Richards: Oh!
Sybil Fawlty: [to Mrs. Richards as she elbows Basil] Did you bang your head?
Mrs. Richards: Yes, yes!
Sybil Fawlty: Oh dear, let me have a look.
Basil Fawlty: You'd better go and lie down before something ELSE happens.
Sybil Fawlty: Shut up, Basil!
Mrs. Richards: Why don't you call the police?
Sybil Fawlty: Well, we will, the moment we've searched the rooms.
Mrs. Richards: [as she exits] My money's been taken!
Sybil Fawlty: Yes, yes, I know. Try not to speak.
Basil Fawlty: [picking up a particle] Is this a piece of your brain?
Sybil Fawlty: [kicks Basil in the shin; he sinks into chair] Shut up, Basil.
Mrs. Richards: Eighty-five pounds.
Sybil Fawlty: [to Mrs. Richards] Take my arm.
Mrs. Richards: I don't need your arm, thank you. I can get down the stairs perfectly all right by myself.
Basil Fawlty: "Down" the stairs? Oh, well, don't stop when you get to the basement. Keep straight on... give my regards to the earth's core!
Sybil Fawlty: [calling to Mrs. Richards as she to her room after being injured] Are you sure you can manage?
Basil Fawlty: And if you give us any more trouble, I shall visit you in the small hours and put a bat up your nightdress.
Sybil Fawlty: Basil!
Basil Fawlty: Well, that was fun, wasn't it dear, the odd moment like that? It's almost worth staying alive for, isn't it? It's nice to share a moment like that, isn't it, dear? It's what marriage is all about. I know - I read it on the back of a matchbox.
Sybil Fawlty: [annoyed] Basil, sometimes...
Basil Fawlty: [putting an arm around Sybil] Seriously, Sybil, do you remember, when we were first manacled together, we used to laugh quite a lot?
Sybil Fawlty: [she pushes him off and exits] Yes, but not at the same time, Basil.
Basil Fawlty: [to himself] Ah, that's true. That was a warning all right, I guess? Should have spotted that, shouldn't I? Zhoom! What was that? That was your life, Mate! Oh, that was quick. Do I get another? Sorry, Mate. That's your lot.
Sybil Fawlty: [returning] Basil.
Basil Fawlty: [to himself] Back to the world of dreams.
Basil Fawlty: [to Sybil] Yes, dear?
Kipper and the Corpse
Dr Price: You mean to tell me you didn't realise this man was dead?
Basil: Well, people don't talk that much in the morning. Look, I'm just delivering a tray, right. If the guest isn't singing "Oh What a Beautiful Morning," I don't immediately think "Oh, there's another snuffed it in the night. Another name in the Fawlty Towers Book of Remembrance." I mean, this is a hotel, not the Burma railway!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Basil: Don't tell anyone, but he's dead.
Major Gowen: Oh. Shot, was he?
Basil: No, No. Died in his sleep.
Major Gowen: In his sleep. Well, you're off your guard, you see.
Morning Major
Very well thank you Fawlty
If ever there was an article that veered off topic
Well at least it went off topic in a good way
www.youtube.com/watch?v=H-oH-TELcLE
A true teacher!!
comment by There'sOnlyOneReds (U1721)
posted 17 seconds ago
Well at least it went off topic in a good way
................
A good way to start the Monday.
I haven't even called anyone an idiot yet.
Well there was a hint of it:-
comment by Vidicschin (U3584)
posted 41 minutes ago
I find I use this one a lot when arguing with TOOR.
"Please try and understand this, before one of us dies"
But yeah, for you, that's great.
Only the very slightest of hints though TOOR.
honestlivpool_five_times was tring his best to be silly earlier.
It seems you got some last night. This is the most logical explanation I can think of. Either that or you're drunk, at the stage of drunkness when you love everybody. The next stage is the 'everybody's a c unt' stage.
Spot on op!! You are preaching to the converted, it the others that seem to forget how poor we have been with that lot playing for us, time to build for a change:
Jones, Hendo, Micah, Young, Kelly, Carroll, welbeck, Wilshere, Baines these are the future and whilst not all are in the squad the ones we have taken must beneft from being in a tournament environment.
Take Henderson for example (because everyone pretty much has slated the lad); at Sunderland he got nowhere near a big occasion in football terms, yet in his first season with Liverpool he reached wembley 3 times and won a trophy, now he is in a proper tournament as well.
Anyone telling me he wont grow as a player performing on that type of stage? I know hes done U21 but it doesnt compare to the real deal. Now in 2yrs time he is going to be much more prepared for what is coming than he was prior to his LFC move and tournament experience; and that can only benefit England.
henderson is behind the likes of wilshere and cleverley and they arent there due to injury.
soon mceachren and rodwell will be ahead
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Page 2 of 2
posted on 4/6/12
TOOR
Probably the best episode of the lot.
Basil.
"Well, what do you expect to see out of a Torquay Hotel bedroom window, herds of Wildebeast sweeping majestically across the plain.
Mrs Richards.
"I expect to see the sea'
Basil.
"It is over there in betwen the land and the sky."
posted on 4/6/12
Turn it on!
What?
Turn it on!
posted on 4/6/12
When he mimes speaking so she turns up her hearing aid and then yells down it
posted on 4/6/12
comment by Wincollgooner - Have we signed someone? (U1342)
posted 2 minutes ago
B: Manuel! You. Know. Nothing.
M: You always say that, Mr Fawlty but I learn!
B: What?
M: I learn I learn! I get better!
B: No no no, you don't understand.
M: I do! I do understand! I learn!
---------------------------------------------------
i thought I was gonna send my wife to hospital when she watched that scene. She just couldn't stop.
posted on 4/6/12
comment by Wincollgooner - Have we signed someone? (U1342)
posted 12 seconds ago
When he mimes speaking so she turns up her hearing aid and then yells down it
-------------------------------------------------
posted on 4/6/12
sssssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhh
dont mention the war!
posted on 4/6/12
Just found the whole Mrs Richards one.
Mrs. Richards: Now listen to me. I booked a room with a bath. When I book a room with a bath I expect to get a bath.
Basil: (confused) You've got a bath.
Mrs. Richards: I'm not paying Seven Pounds Twenty Pence per night plus VAT for a room without a bath.
Basil: [goes into the bathroom] There is your bath.
Mrs. Richards: You call that a bath? It's not big enough to drown a mouse. It's disgraceful...
Basil: [quietly] I wish you were a mouse, I'd show you...
Mrs. Richards: And another thing. I booked a room with a view.
Basil: [quietly to Manuel] Deaf, mad and blind. [Goes to the window] Yes, this is the view as I remember it, yes, yes, this is it.
Mrs. Richards: When I pay for a room with a view, I expect something more interesting than that.
Basil: That is Torquay madam.
Mrs. Richards: Well it's not good enough.
Basil: Well, may I ask what you expected to see out of a Torquay hotel bedroom window? Sydney Opera House, perhaps? The Hanging Gardens of Babylon? Herds of wildebeest sweeping majestically...?
Mrs. Richards: Don't be silly. I expect to be able to see the sea.
Basil: You can see the sea. It's over there between the land and the sky.
Mrs. Richards: I'd need a telescope to see that.
Basil: Well, then, may I suggest you move to a hotel nearer the sea? [mutters] Or preferably in it.
Mrs Richards: What?
Basil: Nothing.
Mrs Richards: Anyway, listen. I am not satisfied. Nevertheless, I have decided to stay. But I shall expect a reduction.
Basil: Why, because Krakatoa's not erupting at the moment?
Mrs Richards: Because the room is cold, the bath is too small, the view is invisible and the radio doesn't work.
Basil: No, the radio works. [mutters] You don't.
Mrs Richards: What?
Basil: I'll see if I can fix it [mutters] you scabby old bat. (walks over to the radio and turns it up loud)
posted on 4/6/12
[Basil is mouthing words to Mrs. Richards, so she is forced to turn up her hearing aid as high as it will go]
Sybil Fawlty: [quietly] Basil, don't! Don't!
[Basil is still mouthing words]
Mrs. Richards: Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. I haven't got it turned up enough.
Sybil Fawlty: [shouting] Basil!
Basil Fawlty: [at full volume now, right into Mrs. Richards' face] I SAID... WE SHOULD GO...!
Mrs. Richards: [jumps back with a shock, hitting her head on the shelf] Oh! Oh, my head! My head!
Basil Fawlty: Has it come away?
Mrs. Richards: Oh!
Sybil Fawlty: [to Mrs. Richards as she elbows Basil] Did you bang your head?
Mrs. Richards: Yes, yes!
Sybil Fawlty: Oh dear, let me have a look.
Basil Fawlty: You'd better go and lie down before something ELSE happens.
Sybil Fawlty: Shut up, Basil!
Mrs. Richards: Why don't you call the police?
Sybil Fawlty: Well, we will, the moment we've searched the rooms.
Mrs. Richards: [as she exits] My money's been taken!
Sybil Fawlty: Yes, yes, I know. Try not to speak.
Basil Fawlty: [picking up a particle] Is this a piece of your brain?
Sybil Fawlty: [kicks Basil in the shin; he sinks into chair] Shut up, Basil.
Mrs. Richards: Eighty-five pounds.
Sybil Fawlty: [to Mrs. Richards] Take my arm.
Mrs. Richards: I don't need your arm, thank you. I can get down the stairs perfectly all right by myself.
Basil Fawlty: "Down" the stairs? Oh, well, don't stop when you get to the basement. Keep straight on... give my regards to the earth's core!
Sybil Fawlty: [calling to Mrs. Richards as she to her room after being injured] Are you sure you can manage?
Basil Fawlty: And if you give us any more trouble, I shall visit you in the small hours and put a bat up your nightdress.
Sybil Fawlty: Basil!
Basil Fawlty: Well, that was fun, wasn't it dear, the odd moment like that? It's almost worth staying alive for, isn't it? It's nice to share a moment like that, isn't it, dear? It's what marriage is all about. I know - I read it on the back of a matchbox.
Sybil Fawlty: [annoyed] Basil, sometimes...
Basil Fawlty: [putting an arm around Sybil] Seriously, Sybil, do you remember, when we were first manacled together, we used to laugh quite a lot?
Sybil Fawlty: [she pushes him off and exits] Yes, but not at the same time, Basil.
Basil Fawlty: [to himself] Ah, that's true. That was a warning all right, I guess? Should have spotted that, shouldn't I? Zhoom! What was that? That was your life, Mate! Oh, that was quick. Do I get another? Sorry, Mate. That's your lot.
Sybil Fawlty: [returning] Basil.
Basil Fawlty: [to himself] Back to the world of dreams.
Basil Fawlty: [to Sybil] Yes, dear?
posted on 4/6/12
Kipper and the Corpse
Dr Price: You mean to tell me you didn't realise this man was dead?
Basil: Well, people don't talk that much in the morning. Look, I'm just delivering a tray, right. If the guest isn't singing "Oh What a Beautiful Morning," I don't immediately think "Oh, there's another snuffed it in the night. Another name in the Fawlty Towers Book of Remembrance." I mean, this is a hotel, not the Burma railway!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Basil: Don't tell anyone, but he's dead.
Major Gowen: Oh. Shot, was he?
Basil: No, No. Died in his sleep.
Major Gowen: In his sleep. Well, you're off your guard, you see.
posted on 4/6/12
Morning Major
Very well thank you Fawlty
posted on 4/6/12
If ever there was an article that veered off topic
posted on 4/6/12
Well at least it went off topic in a good way
posted on 4/6/12
www.youtube.com/watch?v=H-oH-TELcLE
A true teacher!!
posted on 4/6/12
comment by There'sOnlyOneReds (U1721)
posted 17 seconds ago
Well at least it went off topic in a good way
................
A good way to start the Monday.
I haven't even called anyone an idiot yet.
posted on 4/6/12
Well there was a hint of it:-
comment by Vidicschin (U3584)
posted 41 minutes ago
I find I use this one a lot when arguing with TOOR.
"Please try and understand this, before one of us dies"
But yeah, for you, that's great.
posted on 4/6/12
posted on 4/6/12
Only the very slightest of hints though TOOR.
honestlivpool_five_times was tring his best to be silly earlier.
posted on 4/6/12
It seems you got some last night. This is the most logical explanation I can think of. Either that or you're drunk, at the stage of drunkness when you love everybody. The next stage is the 'everybody's a c unt' stage.
posted on 4/6/12
Spot on op!! You are preaching to the converted, it the others that seem to forget how poor we have been with that lot playing for us, time to build for a change:
Jones, Hendo, Micah, Young, Kelly, Carroll, welbeck, Wilshere, Baines these are the future and whilst not all are in the squad the ones we have taken must beneft from being in a tournament environment.
Take Henderson for example (because everyone pretty much has slated the lad); at Sunderland he got nowhere near a big occasion in football terms, yet in his first season with Liverpool he reached wembley 3 times and won a trophy, now he is in a proper tournament as well.
Anyone telling me he wont grow as a player performing on that type of stage? I know hes done U21 but it doesnt compare to the real deal. Now in 2yrs time he is going to be much more prepared for what is coming than he was prior to his LFC move and tournament experience; and that can only benefit England.
posted on 4/6/12
henderson is behind the likes of wilshere and cleverley and they arent there due to injury.
soon mceachren and rodwell will be ahead
Page 2 of 2