Going to leave this here and catch up on the comments in the morning.
Been through something similar years ago.
My advice: contemplate what happened. Whether it’s your fault or not, make the first move, apologise, and move on. The sooner you do it the better. 👍🏻
Most things can be forgiven between families mate.
Tell them how its all made you feel and ask if you can get back to how things were. Life is too short.
Take care mate ✌
Family mate, peaks and troughs.
Obviously don't know what you've done to pizz them off but would it not be an idea to have it out with them? If it goes t1ts up,there's a few presents you won't need to buy...
I lost my dad at 22, there’s some things I always wish I had apologised for or gotten over. We didn’t end on bad terms at all, but it eats me up to this day.
Family are family, they will always be there for you, you might’ve going through a bad time right now, but things will get better. As another poster said on here, the sooner the better. Life is so much harder if you’re not with your loved ones.
Head up, you have a lot riding for you, things get hard from time to time, this life stuff ain’t easy. You got this
You’re not alone, this year and the lockdowns have had a scarily underreported impact on people and their domestic lives, relationships and mental health.
https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-northern-ireland-53327738
Stay strong
Comment deleted by Site Moderator
I know the sort of feelings you talk about. You're not suicidal but the thought of dying no longer scares you and that's a very strange place to be.
It can be so easy to focus on the negatives but you clearly have a lot of great things in your life. It's important not to take those things for granted. I'll bet if you sit down and really think it through, there's a lot more in your life to be happy about than there is sadness to dwell on.
It seems that you have a rock on your wife which is great.
When it comes to work it seems like you're in a position where maybe you could take a less hands on approach for a while. Maybe even start a new project that excites you and challenges you.
I'm not saying that's definitely the right way to go. But you seem like you're well driven and maybe you've lost that drive in your current vocation. You really need to decide what's best for you but never be afraid of change.
When it comes to your family. It sounds as though there are truly positive relationships there that are just a bit clouded at the moment. Who's right, who's wrong, it doesn't matter in the end. When you take a step back and breathe, anger can be let go. Whatever you're arguing about, likely won't matter in a few years. Apologies for your own wrongs, forgive theirs. Outside of the heat of a moment its surprisingly easy.
I've rambled. The important thing is to just think about the positive aspects of life and don't dwell on the negative. You know that. It's why you've reached out. And it's great that you have because support in any form can help pick you back up.
Be positive, don't close yourself off, always make time to breathe
It could be the rift with your parents, or maybe it's some of the football we've been playing. Either way, you're going to have to attempt to solve this family problem. All the best.
There's some great advice here already, I can't really give any more practical tips without knowing more about your situation.
What I will say is, be kind to yourself. It's okay to feel sad sometimes. It's normal and healthy to go through periods when life doesn't seem enjoyable even if by other people's standards there's nothing wrong.
Never give up. You're awesome. You can do this
Comment deleted by Site Moderator
sorry to hear the situation
Your family will always have your heart so it is natural they can also hurt you the most knowingly or unknowingly.
Either way communication is key. The rift seems very recent and from what you have said they do not appear to be toxic by nature.
Also as men we sometimes let our ego get in the way of making the first move especially when we think we are right. But sometimes you may have to do just that be a man and take the first step to bridge the rift before it gets any bigger.
Easier said than done but you come across as someone open to advice. Best of luck
Yorkshire Red,
A footy forum is not the best site to seek help although we can offer you words of comfort we cannot offer you a fix for your ills. You say you're not suicidal but you are displaying clear signs of depression, please, please seek professional help.
Best of luck.
It's been an absolute cant of a year for pretty much all of us. I'd make up with your parents, it's not really important who is right and who is wrong, either way you'll miss them when they're gone.
You sound like a really busy guy and that's great but you should remember to make time for yourself, wether it's a walk/jog in the park or whatever, it's important you give yourself a breather from everyone.
Mind yourself
I went through similar feelings myself which came to a head 8 years ago. I made some bad choices desperately seeking something to change how I felt (just personal choices nothing crazy) but ultimately I made one right choice and that was the choice to stay alive. Eight years on and I am happier than ever, married 3 years with a 1 year old who makes every day worth getting up for.
I know how hard every day will be for you, so if you ever need to chat privately then please reply to this and let me know and I will be happy to swap contact details and help in anyway I can. Otherwise I wish you all the best and I hope you can get things sorted within yourself and come out the other end.
All you can be is honest, both to yourself and to those around you that you care or cared about. Also its good to take a step back and assess everything now and then, its not all bad even when it feels like it.
Also is it possible not to take a break from the work side? Maybe that will help as its well known people who are retired get bored and miss work so maybe that could spark that back up for you?
comment by Wonder Man (U11164)
posted 2 hours, 19 minutes ago
I know the sort of feelings you talk about. You're not suicidal but the thought of dying no longer scares you and that's a very strange place to be.
It can be so easy to focus on the negatives but you clearly have a lot of great things in your life. It's important not to take those things for granted. I'll bet if you sit down and really think it through, there's a lot more in your life to be happy about than there is sadness to dwell on.
It seems that you have a rock on your wife which is great.
When it comes to work it seems like you're in a position where maybe you could take a less hands on approach for a while. Maybe even start a new project that excites you and challenges you.
I'm not saying that's definitely the right way to go. But you seem like you're well driven and maybe you've lost that drive in your current vocation. You really need to decide what's best for you but never be afraid of change.
When it comes to your family. It sounds as though there are truly positive relationships there that are just a bit clouded at the moment. Who's right, who's wrong, it doesn't matter in the end. When you take a step back and breathe, anger can be let go. Whatever you're arguing about, likely won't matter in a few years. Apologies for your own wrongs, forgive theirs. Outside of the heat of a moment its surprisingly easy.
I've rambled. The important thing is to just think about the positive aspects of life and don't dwell on the negative. You know that. It's why you've reached out. And it's great that you have because support in any form can help pick you back up.
Be positive, don't close yourself off, always make time to breathe
----------------------------------------------------------------------
This
Be the bigger person when it comes to family its not worth it unless theyve done something seriously bad ofc. Which it doesnt sound like it. Hopefully if you do you'll feel proud and a sense of achievement for that too even if it doesnt work out atleast you tried got it all out in the open and you can hold your head up high. Its never good to bottle these things up either get talking to your wife or seek professional help.
Best of luck fella. Posts like these make me evaluate my own situation too because i have some similar issues myself atm. I think a lot of us (especially males) do and this situation atm isnt helping.
Sure most men have been there at some point. Life is complicated, especially in these times, people will take their frustrations out on those closest to them. My advise, talk about it and you’ll feel more at ease.
P.S - Try a heroic dose of mushrooms, you’ll realise where you’re going wrong in life
Comment deleted by Site Moderator
Thanks everyone for all your comments and advice. Definitely a lot of positive advice and things fir me to do. I think as a lot of you mentioned, the best thing to do is just patch up the relationship by apologising .
It could be to do with Jurgen Klopp over the last couple of years?
I went through something similar with my parents and my brother about 10 years ago, and again suffered a bout of anxiety and depression, caused by work earlier this year. Everyone is different but I found that professional help was the way to go for me. Sometimes impartial insight from someone else is all we need. It may help decide how to approach reconciliation with your family if that's what you wish to do.
Hopefully this helps, I've been there and it's a horrible place. Get well soon.
Whatever else you do it is vital you talk to someone, whether it be family, friends or seek profesional help
.
Also exercise is a brilliant way of taking your mind off all the problems in life.
Good luck and you will feel better soon
As its winter, more likely to feel depressed than other times if the year. On top of that, the year we had, it all takes its toll.
Sometimes it's better to talk to someone on the outside,such as a professional. Or strangers online.
Mate.
Seriously if you have dark thoughts like this then please, seek professional advice as soon as. Like, now. Speak with your GP first.
i don't need to tell you that this fekin website of all fekin websites is the last place in the entire World you should be seeking 'expert advice' from.
But you seem to be a clever bloke so I am sure that with the right Professional to talk it all through with, you will eventually be able to square this circle and move on.
Good luck fella.
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Just need a little help...
Page 1 of 2
posted on 14/12/20
Going to leave this here and catch up on the comments in the morning.
posted on 14/12/20
Been through something similar years ago.
My advice: contemplate what happened. Whether it’s your fault or not, make the first move, apologise, and move on. The sooner you do it the better. 👍🏻
posted on 14/12/20
Most things can be forgiven between families mate.
Tell them how its all made you feel and ask if you can get back to how things were. Life is too short.
Take care mate ✌
posted on 14/12/20
Family mate, peaks and troughs.
Obviously don't know what you've done to pizz them off but would it not be an idea to have it out with them? If it goes t1ts up,there's a few presents you won't need to buy...
posted on 14/12/20
I lost my dad at 22, there’s some things I always wish I had apologised for or gotten over. We didn’t end on bad terms at all, but it eats me up to this day.
Family are family, they will always be there for you, you might’ve going through a bad time right now, but things will get better. As another poster said on here, the sooner the better. Life is so much harder if you’re not with your loved ones.
Head up, you have a lot riding for you, things get hard from time to time, this life stuff ain’t easy. You got this
posted on 14/12/20
You’re not alone, this year and the lockdowns have had a scarily underreported impact on people and their domestic lives, relationships and mental health.
https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-northern-ireland-53327738
Stay strong
posted on 14/12/20
Comment deleted by Site Moderator
posted on 14/12/20
I know the sort of feelings you talk about. You're not suicidal but the thought of dying no longer scares you and that's a very strange place to be.
It can be so easy to focus on the negatives but you clearly have a lot of great things in your life. It's important not to take those things for granted. I'll bet if you sit down and really think it through, there's a lot more in your life to be happy about than there is sadness to dwell on.
It seems that you have a rock on your wife which is great.
When it comes to work it seems like you're in a position where maybe you could take a less hands on approach for a while. Maybe even start a new project that excites you and challenges you.
I'm not saying that's definitely the right way to go. But you seem like you're well driven and maybe you've lost that drive in your current vocation. You really need to decide what's best for you but never be afraid of change.
When it comes to your family. It sounds as though there are truly positive relationships there that are just a bit clouded at the moment. Who's right, who's wrong, it doesn't matter in the end. When you take a step back and breathe, anger can be let go. Whatever you're arguing about, likely won't matter in a few years. Apologies for your own wrongs, forgive theirs. Outside of the heat of a moment its surprisingly easy.
I've rambled. The important thing is to just think about the positive aspects of life and don't dwell on the negative. You know that. It's why you've reached out. And it's great that you have because support in any form can help pick you back up.
Be positive, don't close yourself off, always make time to breathe
posted on 14/12/20
It could be the rift with your parents, or maybe it's some of the football we've been playing. Either way, you're going to have to attempt to solve this family problem. All the best.
posted on 14/12/20
There's some great advice here already, I can't really give any more practical tips without knowing more about your situation.
What I will say is, be kind to yourself. It's okay to feel sad sometimes. It's normal and healthy to go through periods when life doesn't seem enjoyable even if by other people's standards there's nothing wrong.
Never give up. You're awesome. You can do this
posted on 14/12/20
Comment deleted by Site Moderator
posted on 14/12/20
sorry to hear the situation
Your family will always have your heart so it is natural they can also hurt you the most knowingly or unknowingly.
Either way communication is key. The rift seems very recent and from what you have said they do not appear to be toxic by nature.
Also as men we sometimes let our ego get in the way of making the first move especially when we think we are right. But sometimes you may have to do just that be a man and take the first step to bridge the rift before it gets any bigger.
Easier said than done but you come across as someone open to advice. Best of luck
posted on 14/12/20
Yorkshire Red,
A footy forum is not the best site to seek help although we can offer you words of comfort we cannot offer you a fix for your ills. You say you're not suicidal but you are displaying clear signs of depression, please, please seek professional help.
Best of luck.
posted on 14/12/20
It's been an absolute cant of a year for pretty much all of us. I'd make up with your parents, it's not really important who is right and who is wrong, either way you'll miss them when they're gone.
You sound like a really busy guy and that's great but you should remember to make time for yourself, wether it's a walk/jog in the park or whatever, it's important you give yourself a breather from everyone.
Mind yourself
posted on 14/12/20
I went through similar feelings myself which came to a head 8 years ago. I made some bad choices desperately seeking something to change how I felt (just personal choices nothing crazy) but ultimately I made one right choice and that was the choice to stay alive. Eight years on and I am happier than ever, married 3 years with a 1 year old who makes every day worth getting up for.
I know how hard every day will be for you, so if you ever need to chat privately then please reply to this and let me know and I will be happy to swap contact details and help in anyway I can. Otherwise I wish you all the best and I hope you can get things sorted within yourself and come out the other end.
posted on 15/12/20
All you can be is honest, both to yourself and to those around you that you care or cared about. Also its good to take a step back and assess everything now and then, its not all bad even when it feels like it.
Also is it possible not to take a break from the work side? Maybe that will help as its well known people who are retired get bored and miss work so maybe that could spark that back up for you?
posted on 15/12/20
comment by Wonder Man (U11164)
posted 2 hours, 19 minutes ago
I know the sort of feelings you talk about. You're not suicidal but the thought of dying no longer scares you and that's a very strange place to be.
It can be so easy to focus on the negatives but you clearly have a lot of great things in your life. It's important not to take those things for granted. I'll bet if you sit down and really think it through, there's a lot more in your life to be happy about than there is sadness to dwell on.
It seems that you have a rock on your wife which is great.
When it comes to work it seems like you're in a position where maybe you could take a less hands on approach for a while. Maybe even start a new project that excites you and challenges you.
I'm not saying that's definitely the right way to go. But you seem like you're well driven and maybe you've lost that drive in your current vocation. You really need to decide what's best for you but never be afraid of change.
When it comes to your family. It sounds as though there are truly positive relationships there that are just a bit clouded at the moment. Who's right, who's wrong, it doesn't matter in the end. When you take a step back and breathe, anger can be let go. Whatever you're arguing about, likely won't matter in a few years. Apologies for your own wrongs, forgive theirs. Outside of the heat of a moment its surprisingly easy.
I've rambled. The important thing is to just think about the positive aspects of life and don't dwell on the negative. You know that. It's why you've reached out. And it's great that you have because support in any form can help pick you back up.
Be positive, don't close yourself off, always make time to breathe
----------------------------------------------------------------------
This
Be the bigger person when it comes to family its not worth it unless theyve done something seriously bad ofc. Which it doesnt sound like it. Hopefully if you do you'll feel proud and a sense of achievement for that too even if it doesnt work out atleast you tried got it all out in the open and you can hold your head up high. Its never good to bottle these things up either get talking to your wife or seek professional help.
Best of luck fella. Posts like these make me evaluate my own situation too because i have some similar issues myself atm. I think a lot of us (especially males) do and this situation atm isnt helping.
posted on 15/12/20
Sure most men have been there at some point. Life is complicated, especially in these times, people will take their frustrations out on those closest to them. My advise, talk about it and you’ll feel more at ease.
P.S - Try a heroic dose of mushrooms, you’ll realise where you’re going wrong in life
posted on 15/12/20
Comment deleted by Site Moderator
posted on 15/12/20
Thanks everyone for all your comments and advice. Definitely a lot of positive advice and things fir me to do. I think as a lot of you mentioned, the best thing to do is just patch up the relationship by apologising .
posted on 15/12/20
It could be to do with Jurgen Klopp over the last couple of years?
posted on 15/12/20
I went through something similar with my parents and my brother about 10 years ago, and again suffered a bout of anxiety and depression, caused by work earlier this year. Everyone is different but I found that professional help was the way to go for me. Sometimes impartial insight from someone else is all we need. It may help decide how to approach reconciliation with your family if that's what you wish to do.
Hopefully this helps, I've been there and it's a horrible place. Get well soon.
posted on 15/12/20
Whatever else you do it is vital you talk to someone, whether it be family, friends or seek profesional help
.
Also exercise is a brilliant way of taking your mind off all the problems in life.
Good luck and you will feel better soon
posted on 15/12/20
As its winter, more likely to feel depressed than other times if the year. On top of that, the year we had, it all takes its toll.
Sometimes it's better to talk to someone on the outside,such as a professional. Or strangers online.
posted on 15/12/20
Mate.
Seriously if you have dark thoughts like this then please, seek professional advice as soon as. Like, now. Speak with your GP first.
i don't need to tell you that this fekin website of all fekin websites is the last place in the entire World you should be seeking 'expert advice' from.
But you seem to be a clever bloke so I am sure that with the right Professional to talk it all through with, you will eventually be able to square this circle and move on.
Good luck fella.
Page 1 of 2