a pumped an amputee, wan leg in the bed, another on the mantlepiece

Barry I was the opposite pal

Face like a thirty year old, body.. nuuuuugh not so much, but I went for it none the less

Have to say, don't mind a wee bit of bingo wings every now and again. I used to work with a burd who's in her thirties but has lost it (if you know what I mean ) but I still see her often for the occasional party/ride.. She's great craic and great in bed too

Piff, I know.. this girl is only in the chair couple of years. I know it's not "correct" but I feel very sorry for her. I don't think I could have a relationship with her because of the chair and I know that's my problem not hers. I wouldn't like to mess her about, she's a lovely person. The problem is with me

Jukey, sounds immense my man I'm not bulling but i've had a couple of relationships with gorgeous girls but after awhile it dont really matter what they look like it's more about about how "good" they are

Comment deleted by Site Moderator

Aye I've had a few my own age, all good looking (no model material like) but honestly the 30 something I meet up is great. It's pretty much the definition of friends with benefits

Amputees called David

You've had experiences with an amputee named David?

Barry we are but human we are also men therefore we are also dogs and I am fine with that

Abused by a crutch

Barry, "David" knocked me back, limping sod that he was

"You've had experiences with an amputee named David?"

Yes, a certain Mr Murray who decimated my football team.

The sooner he's in the jail (and it's a possibility) the better.

Juke, as long as the crutch was lubed

I couldnae pump a bird that was deid from the waist doon.

Just think how soul destroying it would be when she said "is it in yet"

Jukey, honestly mate you'd wanna see her she's stunning.

Blue, Id love a "friend with benefits" but it seems they always want more

"Blue, Id love a "friend with benefits" but it seems they always want more"

Thats women for you. Just go to a hooker.

Don't wanna go off topic but I just had one of those google ads stalk me for pages on this sayin that 9/10 fores is started by humans.

Eh, I'm sure my criminal record was wiped when I turned 16, was it not?

Sorry I mean Jukey!

Fires.

Can't even blame that one on autocorrect

Juke, clearly your offences warranted a longer deletion period?

Setting fires.

Piff, you still watching father Ted? Bishop Brennan!

Funny thing is, when I turned 16 I celebrated having a clean state buy going into town to my cousins for a party. Ended up taking my first E, thought it was a great idea to steal a 24 crate of Stella from the back of a lorry and got caught

Literally, what 10hours maybe? After turning 16 I was done for theft

Fortunately the guy dropped the charges so long as I paid him for the two beers I drank while on the run. I'm a rubbish criminal btw

Kick Bishop Brennan Up the Ars.e