Coming up on your first pill in a cell is actually more fun than it sounds.

Being interviewed during it isn't

I had a run in with the law because I was sitting on steps

Barry, he is like a Catholic vampire, just how I remember my auld maw and her priest when I was young, thank feck I am now an atheist, I can eventually sleep

Piff, I had it all, the schooling etc.. when I think back it was mental but I laugh at it. Still see a lot of the priests that used to teach me. Funny times, more laughter than badness in truth They were all decent folk.

Blue, you must have been loitering???

"Blue, you must have been loitering???"

Not at all. We were sitting on public steps and grass. It was just the old cow who lived next to it didn't like us.

Oh how we wound her up. We sent out Scottish Gas to her house, saying we smelt gas from her back garden

Ditto Barry I don't doubt there were dodgy fellahs employed back when but IMO the ones I came into contact with (easy!) were decent men with god hearts, that and my Maw would whup me if I didn't show enough respect

i asked her for a wee kiss at the gate,


she replied, "theres the gate, fire in"

"Good" Freudian slip there

Bluenose.. Did you live in a rural area by any chance.. Say a village/wee town?

We used to get into trouble for no reason like that too, so we dreamt why not go bigger?

So we trashed a church (shít you not), stole newspapers from the shop and lit the whole joint on fire. The church still stands (where we used to get baked for a while as teens) but we did more than that to our village.

We were pretty much evil, but we had fook all else to do

Even set one farmers whole barn full of bales on fire coz he chased us out his field one day

I'm going to hell if it exists.. Which reminds me, we stole my old RE teachers 400 year old Jewish bible, held it for ransom for 20 packets of skittles and a packet of blue rizlas (don't exist to my knowledge) and then set it on fire.

As you do.

Piff, when I was a kid my best mates Da would round his kids up and any others that were there to do the rosary. We lived next door, my ma/day would call us in and the others would be on their knees doing the rosary. 4 of the 6 kids have ended up with psychological problems. My folks are religious but they were never mental

Leo, "Gate" as in Devils gate drive Suzi Quatro? now that was a gate I would have fired into, FYI, just how old am I?

"Bluenose.. Did you live in a rural area by any chance.. Say a village/wee town?"

Well it was in Irvine, so not really rural. Just backward auld boots who had no idea what was going on.

The police were alright with us really, they said as much that the woman who phoned was a cow.

Another time was me and my mates got the police phoned on us because we had the audacity to play football in a carpark.

Barry, it was worse for me.where we lived there were no other Catjholics and my Maw saw them as the great unwashed, fought with 2/3rds of them hence all of their laddies melted me on a weekly basis god love her she has not changed and still causes fights even in the bakers shop queue FFS

Living in the highlands is like living in your own wee world.

As a kid, if an adult gotta had of you you were due a skelp and nothing was said between that adult and your folks other than 'well done, you saved me giving him one' or something along those lines

The police were laid back until we got this copper called Haugh (pronounced Hoff.. Insert Knightrider/Baywatch joke here) from Glasgow who was like the T-1000 from Terminator2. We made it our goal to make his life hell and he revelled in it

Living in and around woods and farmland, with old industry buildings about is a goldmine for a mischievous kid/teenager when you have an over eager cop willing to prove himself.

aye and breakin intae masonic ludges

juke to be fair, Irvine was the same for me growing up

The best thing I ever got into trouble for was being next to someone who threw a mint at someones window to wake up a parrot

Leo.. I drank 3 my first and last 3 litres of OVD from that raid, and had many samurai sword fights.

Although the replica muskets were a let down

Blue, gie your mate a pat on the back, never ever trusted Parrots, squawky barstewards to be fair, I once got done for eating a pork pie in M&S, Polis told me they would X ray me if I didn't admit it, I folded and fessed up

Piff, your Mum sounds a lot like my own some of it was a bit mental both school and home wise but we didn't know any different and to be honest I wouldn't change any of it I've nothing but love for my ma & da and nothing but respect for the teachers and priests who've influenced me

I.P.

All he did was throw it against the window to see if it would wake up

Then the school wanted me to grass him in, wasn't for it though. ended up with 8 of us sitting in the head masters office, getting a lecture off a police guy

Barry, I have found that many folk have an influence on me, the skill is separating the charlatans from the wise

The funny thing was my Auld man, god rest him was a Prod, he was a Prod but a clever one, he kept his mouth shut around my Maw and taught me, unsuccessfully to do the same, my Maw still has a swing at me if I swear and she is 80!

Thank fook we don't have the catholic/Protestant thing up here

We just have normal people, and some free Church of Scotland folk?

Really though, we all just love a drink up here.. Religion just means you're a do-gooder which normally meant you were in control of the council coz it was all older folk but last year we had elections and all us you get crowd actually got together for once (partly trough the dance scene) and ousted almost all of he council and voted in younger folk.

Since then we've abolished the 12 o'clock curfew in Inverness (yes we had a curfew for town, the only one in Britain) and the city has become a bit more liberal which his great.

Blue, if that Parrot could have spoken he would have grassed you up ASAP

Happy memories now but I bet you were kacking yourself at the time

Young*

Not you get.. Autocorrect